I Married a Man I Don't Love
I married a man I don't think i love. It has only been 3 months since our beautiful wedding. The day was perfect. At the time any way.... we had been together for 5 years and engaged for 3. The relationship has always been a lot of hard work. He doesn't have much of a sense of humour and can't laugh at himself when situations are tense. I can, and think laughter is important in life and relationships. We always battled over my job and how commited to it I was. He would become infuriated by my focus on what I did and my lack of interest in our relationship. I got myself to a point where I was too scared to end the relationship over fear of how he would deal with it. I felt only 12 months ago that i didn't like my fiance at all. I couldn't bare to look at him, hated the thought of love making and had no desire to have a conversation with him. We got ourselves to a volitile point. He had a freak out. Stressed from his own job. Stressed from finances and stressed from my lack of desire of him. I tried to end the relationship then. It was over, finally a massive weight had been lifted off my chest. I had finally done it.... 4 days later, he talked me around, said he was sorry, he wanted to change his ways and he loved me.
I have never met a man that loved me as much as he does. I always believed he was infatuated. We met when I was a ********. I didn't dance for very long, and I don't want you to pigeon hole me either. I am a descent woman, who has strong and loyal values. I had to dance at the time as there was no other way of paying my way out of a huge debt. Plus, my curious side always wanted to know how it would feel to be a pole dancer, actually a ********!!!! I must say, I did love my life at that point. Then this guy walked into my life.
He was so confident and cockey, and told me that he would have me. For some time I didn't want anything to do with him. There was just something that my gut instinct was warning me about. For some reason I ignored it.
6 months later we moved in together. 18 months later we were engaged. When he proposed, I wanted to say no. But I said yes. I just needed some time to get used to the idea i thought.
Time went by, and I knew something wasn't right. HE can be controlling and jealous. Suffocating me at times. To cut a long story short........
6 months before we married, I set myself free from this man. I always thought I would marry someone who i thought would be like my best friend. Now I'm married to a man who I don't really like as a person.
I think I found myself at an age where my single girlfriends, are finding it hard to meet the right guys, and here I am with someone who loves me to no end and would care for me the rest of my life. can't be that bad right? so why not allow him to and please him by simply marrying him.
All my friends who know us said he would probably calm down once we married. His insecure ways would finally be settled because he knew I wasn't goning anywhere, that I was his. No one would sweep me off my feet beacuse marriage proved I was commited to him. I've never given him any reason to not trust me or believe I was looking else where, he has just has an over active imagination when it comes to me. Even his own mother thinks he's infatuated.
Marriage I think has made him worse. I am married to this man and I can't even have a conversation with him....... Is there any one else who is in the same kind of relationship. Married or not. Does this happen to other people??????
