Does My Husband Have Borderline Personality Disorder?
I married someone who hid his true colors very carefully. While we dated he told me war stories and cried about the pain it had left him with. I later found out he made them all up from his own father. He made me feel secure by telling me all his assets he had such as time shares (I'm not a gold digger but liked stable men). He had not paid on them in years and I found out while checking his credit score after we got married. Things like these two incidences would come out after we got married. After we had our first kid, he helped none at all. He always pretended to believe in equal housework but just said this to hook me. Four years after our first child, he has never cleaned a toiled, never gave our son a bath, never washed a dish, can't even put his own clothes in a bin, etc. It was completely me doing everything as if I was a single mom. I felt so betrayed. He would expect me to be made of iron and stay up late with him. If it said I wanted to go to sleep he would say he would wake up the baby so I'd be up anyway. After I had my baby my vagina hurt (obviously) and he said he would leave me if I didn't have sex with him. All these horrible things started happening. If I got sick he would not get up and help with the kid but just tell me to suck it up. He sleeps until noon everyday and has no care in the world what this does to me. He touches me in a certain place (butthole) everytime we have sex and I ask him not to because it grosses me out but says sex is about him too. He has no respect. He has told me he would enjoy shooting all the deadbeats that walk the street. I don't feel he would actually do this though. His moods vary greatly. He gets angry very quickly and hits the wall. He has never hit me. He is a very charismatic person in the public. Everyone loves him. He puts on a great act. Once he is away from people all he talks about is how much he hates people. He doesn't like company and can't stand me having friends. He pretends to be a people person while out in public and it is a very very good act. Heck, I fell for it. Nobody knows this other side to him but me. He will say mean things to me like 'go to hell' before stepping out of a car and then get out with a huge smile and greet everybody. What is wrong with him? What do I do? I'm a Christian so divorce is not an option. I feel I am crumbling from his constant shift in moods.