I Left Him, Kind Of


I live in Sweden.
I have a three monthsbaby whith a man who fits all the descriptions for BPD.
It is so much hardships, I am totally run over by this man.

Last week i threw him out.
We lived together for 2, 5 years.
All the good things is just a "dream". It´s never that way in reality except for in glimpses.
It has never been.
It is as though he is here to make me a nurse of him, which I never became.
I feel like he is a vampire, he takes amazing women and throws them away when they are zombies. He always did.

He keeps texting that he wants me back, but as far as i´ve read here, and as well as i know hi, he won´t change.

I feel as though my anxiety is about to kill me.
Did any of you in here go to some kind of councelling edayregarding only this?

luxxusapa luxxusapa
1 Response May 19, 2012

Look out because he will be back, as if nothing ever happened. They actually like it when you throw them out. They get to escape from that "too-close" feeling of intimacy that swallows them up because of the fragility of their ego. Then when their tank is empty, they want to come back for more contact and begin the cycle again of idealizing and then devaluing and demonizing you until you cannot take it.<br />
As you say, it can lead to burn-out, and many partners give up or get used up and discarded by the BPD partner after several years. However, there are some relationships that survive--I have heard of some on here that go on for more than 25 years.

The "recycling" as bpdfamily.com calls it; the constant on and off again as you describe is classic bpd behavior. My bpdh and I have set up "time out" and I have been the one who LEAVES the scene and lets him BE ALONE for a while. It helps ME to keep my boundaries, respect myself and NOT give into his childish demands but let him know that I care how he feels but I CANNOT make him feel better; that is up to him.