On Wednesday, my wife and her mother basically shamed me into committing to take my wife to a football game. My father-in-law has season tickets and can’t uses for health reasons. I have no desire to go. but if my wife wants to, I’ll go. It’s not like my wife is a fan, but if it’s something her nuclear family likes, by default, she must like it as well. And, her sisters are going to go to other games, so my wife “has” to go. I mean, “what would my father think if I didn’t go.”

My wife knows I don’t care about going but the fact that I am, because she wants to go (all be it for f***** up reasons), this is not seen as a husband doing something nice for his wife. It’s seen as a sign of weakness on my part. That means, when I want to do something, there will be an argument as she attempts to assert what she believes is her recently affirmed dominance in our relationship. Really, it’s like a pack dog mentality.

Well, sure enough, last night something comes up for us to do Sunday that relates to something I’m involved in doing. Three of my college friends, their families (maybe one or two of the wives), and ours. Right away my wife explodes into a list of things I need to do and why I can’t go. Her list involves three chores that will take 20 minutes combined. Since my wife’s not working, I would think she could do this, but outside of laundry, there is nothing she does. No way. Nothing. Not her job. Now, I knew this was coming, so I ignore the initial blowup then told her, “you don’t want to go, don’t go.” Simple. Well, it’s not that simple for my wife. She’s done that before and she’ll sit at home, sulk, get drunk, and then be sorry she didn’t go. But more importantly, our daughter and I going is in defiance of her demand. What’s crazy is this demand never happens if I don’t bite on the football game. If I say “hell no” to the game, she goes with us Sunday with only slight objection. Never questions my going.

Fact is, if she goes with us Sunday, she’ll have a good time. She did the same thing last weekend, stayed home, got drunk, and boo-hood when we got home. She would prefer to try to force me not to go because, in her mind, it affirms dominance. Every relationship she has (and it’s only her family and co-workers, when she’s working – she has zero friends and make no effort to get to know any neighbors) is seen as one person being dominant, the other submissive -not in a sexual way. She’s completely submissive to HER family (her daughter and I don’t count). Anything they want, she wants to provide. Well, maybe not her directly, but me or our daughter, the people who she believes should be submissive to her. Which is why we’re going to a football game that she really doesn't care about and why she wants to prevent my attending an activity the she could attend and would ENJOY attending. A lot more than the football game.

Messed up.
jacksoninva jacksoninva
51-55, M
Aug 22, 2014