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Tired Of The Many Mood Swings

I AM A 40 YEAR WIFE AND MOM WITH TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WHO DON'T DESERVE MY MANY MOOD SWINGS.  I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BI-POLAR ABOUT 9 YEARS AGO.  I MET A WONDERFUL MAN AFTER EXISTING IN A VERY DESTRUCTIVE LIFESTYLE AND GOT PREGNANT.  IT SEEMS LIKE WITH THE PREGNANCY CAME VERY EXTREME MOOD SWINGS.  AFTER 8 YEARS OF STICKING BY ME WITH THIS DISEASE AND TAKING THE UNWARRENTED ATTACKS ON HIMSELF HE DECIDED TO MARRY ME THINKING WE CAN AND WOULD GET THROUGH THIS FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHIDREN.   A YEAR INTO OUR MARRIAGE MY HUSBAND BEGIN DROWNING HIS PAIN IN ALCOHOL.  WHAT A BIG MISTAKE!!! I WAS RAISED BY ALCOHOLICS AND HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOR. AS A RESULT MY MOOD SWINGS AND HIS DRUNKEN STUPORS ARE A RECIPE FOR DISASTER.  WHEN WE HAVE GOOD DAYS THEY ARE GREAT BUT WHEN THE "EPISODES" OF BI-POLARISM OCCUR LIFE IS SAD AND SCARY.  I WONDER IF MY BI-POLAR DROVE MY HUSBAND TO DRINK REALLY BAD TO DEAL WITH ME, OR WAS HE ALREADY A CLOSET ALCHOHOLIC AND AFTER MARRIAGE DECIDED TO USE ME AS AN EXCUSE TO JUST STAY DRUNK ALL THE TIME- KNOWING THAT FOR THE MOST PART WHEN HE COMES HOME DRUNK - IT WILL DEFINATELY TRIGGER MY UNCONTROLLABLE ANGER.  SOMETHING HAS TO GIVE OR GO!

ladynisi ladynisi 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 15, 2010

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Hey there. Here's the thing I want to say: A label is just something people call you. IF you have things in your life you want to make different - be the first one to be different in the same interaction. As someone with alphabet soup diagnoses after her name can be the first to say - rebel :) YOU choose how you want things to be. It may be that your loved ones will come to you - but it will DEFINITELY happen that you get to know where YOU are and where THEY are, right?

Hey there. Here's the thing I want to say: A label is just something people call you. IF you have things in your life you want to make different - be the first one to be different in the same interaction. As someone with alphabet soup diagnoses after her name can be the first to say - rebel :) YOU choose how you want things to be. It may be that your loved ones will come to you - but it will DEFINITELY happen that you get to know where YOU are and where THEY are, right?