I May Just Die of a Broken-heart

I married my first love and after 14 years and 2 kids later, I began to feel his coldness.  It never crossed my mind he could be cheating. It must have been stress from work or finances. I had so much faith he loved me and the kids, so he would never do that to us.  When he told me he was in love with someone else, I went numb.  I couldn't feel.  Right now, I am still living with the hope he will come to his senses and come back to us.  He held me for a while, and I cried like there was a death.  Even though he held me, he was emotionless.  How could he do this?  It can't be real.  I know I will love him until I take my last dying breath, sometimes I wish that was today. How much easier that would be.  HELP!!
leftalone leftalone
26-30, F
1 Response Nov 27, 2007

...speechless. i agree with ophelia. How did he feel when you were crying? You need to try and identify why he had the affair. Attraction? Intimacy? You two weren't talking anymore? As fallible humans we will always make wrong choices. Not saying he should be forgiven, but without forgiveness you simply can't move on. And the only way to forgive is to understand what went wrong. If i were you i would write him a letter telling him how you feel about him, how much you love him, about all those special moments you've had with each other, how hard its been for you too. How can he just leave you like that! If he really doesn't care, well you know what, whatever went wrong in your relationship will probably go wrong in his next. The thing is with affairs, its true, people go into them thinking oo everything is great, liking that rush and excitement, but that all disappears...after how long it depends, but the fact is, that is not what love is. my heart goes out to you. really angers me, people are just so selfish. If you are going to marry someone that is it! You shouldn't look at other women, you shouldn't flirt and you should not have an affair! You gave your heart to someone, and they gave you yours. If things aren't working, you have to make them work. and leftalone, believe in yourself. If he doesn't come back, i know that if you get through this and it will only make you stronger, and him.....well he'll have to go through life with two children knowing he had an affair and left their mum. I think when you do something as horrible as what your former partner did to you, a part of you will probably stay sad, or broken, or ashamed whatever the word is, until you are both forgiven by the people you have hurt, and forgive yourself for doing something so disgraceful.