High School Sweet Hearts To Be Eternally Wed (a Mormon Story)

My honey and I first got together when I was 16 years old and he 15 during the summer of 2007. Ben was my first boyfriend and when we first started dating, I became interested in his religion---Mormonism. My mother hated this because she wanted me to remain non-denominational like her, but whatever to that. I knew that if Ben and I wanted to have any hope of spending the eternities together that we needed to be on the same page about God. So, I felt that I would study his religion and either reveal it for its falsehood or see it for its truth.

However, after a short month of dating, Ben decided to break up with me after returning from a church camp he called EFY. Back then, he said it was because he wanted to do a better job at following the prophets' counsel of not dating until the age of 16. He also did not want any serious relationships until he had served a mission, as the prophets suggested. Nowadays, he says that the main influencer was fear of becoming too physically close before we could get married. Anyway, the day he broke up with me was something straight out of a movie... Ben and I first met on the school bus, and the building at our bus stop was being torn down. Not only this, but there appeared this totally random high-wind rainstorm out of a cloudless, sunny day that existed only during the duration in which he broke up with me. If you ask me, I think God was trying to tell Ben he was stupid for leaving me, but I digress.

The following school year was a hectic one. My health rapidly declined as I got the onset of Rheumatoid Arthritis. And I will say, I believe my RA was anything but mild. There was not one join in my body that was not affected by my arthritis. I severely became crippled and disabled by many means. I did my best to be a normal teenager, but I just wasn't one. Meanwhile Ben jumped from casual relationship to casual relationship rationalizing it was the best way to get to know people. I tried teaching him what true love is, but I guess it took him a long while to get it... He actually even dated my best friend for 5 months! Thank God I was able to handle that situation maturely without losing my best friend!

During this time of many hardships, I also read the Book of Mormon and gained a weak testimony of it. I couldn't meet up with the missionaries or visit Ben's church, however, because my parents greatly disapproved of my interest in the church. I respected my parent's desires so I went and talked to pastors and read anti-mormon literature like they asked. Still, I butted heads with my mother about religion as she seemed determine to convince me that Mormons were evil... I didn't think that such a kind people could possibly be so evil, lol.

One day my mother asked me, "How can Mormonism be true if it causes so much problems between you and I? Shouldn't the truth bring us closer together and not push us apart?" After she said this, I ran up to my room in hopes of finding Matthew 10: 34-40. It reads: "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me."

Anyway, I went nearly that whole school year without any medications. I was pulled out of Psychology for a support class sometime during the second semester, but I was still expected to meet the same requirements as every other student... Requirements in which I could not fulfill. My grades were in the gutter as my physical problems made working too hard for me to handle. I went home from school most days falling asleep for the night without ever having time to do homework.

Eventually, I got my second boyfriend. He thought I was the best thing in the whole world upon the first time we met, but I told him I was too heartbroken to be thinking about another relationship. He insisted on flirting with me, however, and that was very emotionally appealing to me at the time. Ben was still dating my best friend and it was driving me crazy... So I went with dating CJ. It felt so very wrong to be with him, but I think me dating CJ woke Ben up a bit. Ben had fallen in love with me although he was with Alexis, and I was trying to move on because he was dating other women... Needless to say Ben soon broke up with my best friend and it wasn't until then that I had the strength to break up with CJ (as I knew it wasn't right to be with him). I wanted to either get back with Ben, or come to a point where I could move on with my life and fall in love with someone else. And so, Ben and I then both remained single for about 2-3 months before things began to change.

As the school year came closer to an end, and after I had been with and broke up with CJ, my circumstances still felt very hard and I didn't feel like they were getting any easier. Still, I knew I had to do what God asked of me no matter what. My testimony of the Book of Mormon was still very weak, and I knew I needed to one day talk to the missionaries to strengthen that testimony. So one night when I felt so alone that I almost could not stand it, I decided to make God a promise. I promised that even if I had to do so alone, I would seek out the Mormon missionaries once I graduated from high school and my parents counted me as an adult free to do whatever I wanted. This was very hard for me, because I wanted my family to be there with me and also Ben, but I knew I had to make God that promise. My heart was shatter and spirit contrite when I made God this promise, so that is what my sacrifice was to follow God with all purpose in heart.

I believe that in making this sacrifice, God did greatly bless me. On June 14th 2008, I was blessed to get back with Ben and know that he would become my eternal husband. He apologized to me for all he had done wrong and gave his absolute promise that I'd be the only one for him forever. I also finally got medication and became special ed. in school for children with physical needs. Then sometime during my senior year of high school, my parents let me start meeting up with the missionaries at Ben's house---Although they did not approve of me becoming baptized until two years later when I was 19. (Just for the record, I got baptized after my parents gave me the OK. Also, it was my honey who baptized me.) Although my parents are now divorced and still do not consider this faith, which thing is very sad to me, I am blessed with an even bigger family because they both got remarried to another person. I am a firm believer that although sacrifices can be hard, they really aren't sacrifices at all. God blesses us each time we come to him with all purpose in heart, and the blessings he gives us are always greater than anything we previously hoped for.

Ben and I have been together for 4 years now and any and every problem we've had feels so small that it doesn't even matter. Ben and I both try to become better people as we move along. We feel comfortable telling each other almost everything which is so wonderful because there's no big secrets between us. Sometimes we're afraid of the other scolding us for something so very small that we do, such as going to a work party or sending an email to a friend, but it's nothing that will ever stop us from staying together. It's so wonderful to know that I can trust him! There was a point in time in which I couldn't trust him as a teenager, but now I am greatly blessed to be with a boy who is growing into a fine young man.

I look forward to spending an eternity with him, and I know that I will. Whether if you believe it or not, it's still the truth.

Hope you all can find that special someone you'll be with forever just as I have. :-)

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1 Response May 26, 2012

I hope you and Ben stay together...when you go through the tough times, hold onto each other through it. The view from the mountain top is worth the climb.