He Ia a Good Person But...

I married someone hoping that the love would grow. But it never did. It's been 16 years now and I am ready to get a divorce. All I can say is NEVER EVER marry someone unless you are truly "in love" with them. I have been feeling so alone for the past 6 of these years. He has stopped talking to me. We don't kiss or have sex. It is a very lonely marriage. I wish that i had listened to my heart and not my mind. He is a good person who takes care of me but I would rather be homeless and living on the street than to have to endure THIS for the rest of my life.

Suzette Suzette
41-45, F
2 Responses Mar 7, 2009

I married to avoid being lonely and married a man I believed would be a good provider, a strong manager who would step up to look after me when I couldn't cope. Well, I got that wrong. I never had love feelings for him. I believed I could live like that, more practical than love. Well, I've learned the hard way what it's like to pretend to love someone and have sex that feels cold and awful. Thankfully we sleep separately now and children are in their 20's, but I feel I've thrown my life away on a loveless marriage. If love and closeness are what you desire, if things can't change through marriage guidance and therapy and perhaps you can find a way to change the dynamics of the marriage, then it's time to put your needs first and think of you NEEDS.

I recently met a lady that i connect with. With share many same interest, sense of humor, and just like to be around one another, or talk on line. What I realize now is just how unhappy I am in my relationship...my friend is unhappy too in hers. Anyways, i can't keep doing what I have been....need more from life for sure.