I Feel So Ashamed Of Myself After I **********

I seem to ********** a lot and it feels so good in the moment but when im done, i ALWAYS feel so ashamed. I have mixed emotions about it. I do it nearly every night but i always feel so guilty. I always pray to God about how I am sorry and how i will stop it but guess what I always go back to doing it. I think I've been praying that prayer for the past year! sometimes i think i am addicted to it as when i was in bed last of last night. I couldnt go to sleep and i was craving so badly to **********, my body actually felt uncomfortable so i gave in and did it and its always when i deprive myself from it that when i do it, it is absolutely mind blowing. I am probably going to do it tonight, just writing this is making my body crave it. I have a weird way of ************ though, i dont stick my finger up my vagina. I do it weirdly but its how i like it. I take off my pants, cross my legs over each other and hold my butt tight so that its nice and firm and then i rotate my genitalia area around and around while i think of extremely dirty stuff like me having really dirty sex with someone and then i feel something so pleasurable that makes me grab on to my bed, it feels that good. I have never actaully had sex so i dont know if it is an ****** that i experience, i think it is. I am so confused as i always feel guilty and feel like God hates me for doing it but it feels so good, you'd never believe. I don't know how to stop t. I have tried to do the whole 3 weeks change of habit thing but that didnt work, it actually was soo much more better as i had deprived myself from it for that long. It also helps me sleep. after i do it, i feel so relaxed and tired. Nowadays i do it like four times a night, not in a row though, i have to wait for my body to get over the first '******' before it can experience another one. I really dont nknow what to do!
OhLala17 OhLala17
18-21
2 Responses Sep 6, 2012

1st thing is... Of course you are addicted to it...
2nd thing is...don't worry about what "god" thinks... "god" is a concept that everybody likes to pin their own preconceptions to... but if you really think about it there is no logical reason to presume that the particular creed you were personally brought up to believe is any more or less valid than any other...
Actually the truth is probably a little too obtuse for the average person to think about.. as the concepts are very abstract... I digress...
Anyway if I were you I would feel no guilt from any outside source....
Any guilt you bring to the table is yours and yours alone...
If you were a guy I could understand the guilt as your ****** actually depletes you as for women its not so bad....

I came across this accidentally (so to speak).... don't feel guilty, that's dumb... Its perfectly natural and God won't hate you for it... You may want to try and tone the frequency down though, however you're young and that will happen eventually... You should be only worried only if you weren't doing it.....