But i've always thought there was something wrong with me. I am extremely emotional. When i say extremely emotional, i mean it. I think i have some chemical imbalance in my brain or something, ha. My mum has said it could be bipolar, and so have a number of other people. I've never actually spoken to anyone about it. There are times when it is a problem, and other times it's okay.
It's the down time that is really bad. I can go into such deep depressions over something so tiny or not even know what i'm depressed or crying about. I've never really been suicidal though which is a good thing. But i sure do experience overwhelming sadness a lot. I can go from one extreme to the next. I can cry at the drop of a hat. My best friend tells me i'll be lucky if i ever find someone who will stay with me. And though i hope it's not true, part of me knows that she may be on to something.
It's the people who know me best like my parents, brother and best friend that know just how intense and crazy i can be. I've never really hurt anyone but i can be violent sometimes. Sometimes when i'm angry i feel like every single part of my body is engulfed in rage. I get so angry that i cry.
On the flipside, i can be over-the-top hysterical and hyperactive. Which is another thing i have never been diagnosed with, but i've always considered myself to have a.d.d. I'm so high strung. I'm impetuous and easily angered. My emotions are all over the place. I have SO much emotion. I put all of myself into my emotions. I think that just might be my problem. I don't know how i can change this.
My best friend loves to tell people the story of the time there was no tomatos in the fridge and i absolutely flipped at my mum. ha. It's not like i'm proud of when i go crazy for silly reasons. I do want to change.