Tots Before...

It’s so chilly!!! It wasn’t like this in India. The weather was always so warm there. Ohhhh! I miss my family. If only they were here with me. It’s just been a week since I moved here…to New York…wow…the name is in itself so intimidating. The city is different from the little town I come from. My town was so ordinary. There is so much more life here!! They say the city never sleeps…well…let’s see…I have never been out at night from the hotel I’m staying at in the suburbs. It’s quite crappy really but I don’t have a choice. My new company wont give me a house…they can call me from a different continent to work for them but will they help me finding a roof to live under…NO WAY!!! I am supposed to wait for a month till they help me find an apartment. Shmucks!!!

Well, at least the trains are better than the ones I’ve traveled back in India. To think of it, the only time I did travel by train was when I had to visit my relatives in Mumbai. The trains were bad…the crowds…the delays…!!! The trains are relatively cleaner here. Even the seats are more comfortable…but…hmmm…if I just shift a little…yeah…much better…! Look at the fat hog glaring at me just coz I asked her to move a little…this is not her train, u know!!! No matter which country you live in, some people will never change! I’m not very fond of traveling this way but I guess I have to wait a while till I can get a car…a BMW…a Porsche maybe!!! My dreams will finally come true…now that I have got a good job.

A-ha! Finally…I have reached! The train took forever. I’m feeling a little ill. This is my first day at work!!! A new job in a new city. I’m nervous!

“Hey, watch where you are going!!!”…grrrr…these guys have no idea how to walk on the street….and what’s the big idea of skate boarding??!! Take a cab…bus…or walk! Why should they get off a train just to zoom away on their…flimsy…and stupid skate boards??!! Bunch of jokers…they are trying to impress girls with their cool behavior. Show offs!!!

Stop cribbing!! Everyone says I crib too much…well…I can’t help it if I’ve had a ****** life. It’s not easy, you know…but no one understands! School life was pathetic…studies made no sense…why study subjects that you wont use in your life!! Idiots!! There were those girls…the popular ones who would never talk to me coz it was not their style!!! Well, they didn’t actually say that but I assume that was why they never spoke to me. I tried talking to them and they would just answer with a smile but any chance of being their friend…?!!! NO!!! The same thing happened in college too. Those girls always got the cute guys. Wait till they know where I am now…I have got everyone’s dream job!! So, my student life was ruined because of them but now…they would want to be my friend…and I may…just may agree to acknowledge them!!

Look at these buildings!! They are so tall!! And look at that girl walking there!! She is so much fatter than I…wow…I guess I’m not the fattest girl in the world!! But I’m still so fat…look at me…my paunch is so clearly visible…****!! Does this dress even look good…?!!! Are people looking at me coz I look weird wearing this shirt…that must be it!!! Maybe it’s too loose…or is too tight??!! It’s the shoes…they aren’t the ones people wear in New York!! And this stupid wind…it’s totally ruined my already incorrigible hair!!! Why why why……why did I have to look so ugly!!?!! No wonder I was never popular…I’m just a fat and ugly girl who is…ouch!!! Damn it!! My lenses…the dust found no eye to enter but mine! There is no quiet corner in this stupid city where I can tend to my poor eye!!!

Stop it!!! Cheer up…today is you first day at work…you have a good job…your dream has come true…be happy!!! In a month you will have your own apartment….a few months and you can get a loan and get a car. So what if my life, the whole 24 years of my life has been bad….things will change now…!!! None of the oh so famous girls and boys in school and college are where I am now!!! No good looking girl is where I am now!! My life will change now!!! I can stop cribbing…finally!!!

I feel better now...I can smile…hmmm…this is the way my life must be. What is the time??!! It’s eight!!! I have to be at work early…I can’t be late on the first day!!! Oh wow!! Look at it standing's such a beautiful piece of work…one of the tallest buildings in New York. Its twin is just as spell binding. Just a minute more and I will be in the World Trade Centre. I have seen it in movies but the real thing is so much more marvelous. I can’t help but smile…partly coz of my nervousness and partly coz I’m will be working in this place from today…11th September 2001…a day I don’t think I will forget!!!

We may never get a second chance to enjoy life.

Live your life today coz tomorrow is a reality in the game of life, where you could earn a fortune or lose yourself.
jozone jozone
Feb 14, 2010