Zen Center This MorningA zen teacher told me on monday that zen is a rigorous practice. Zazen (meditation) is used to break down the constructs of the mind and replace them with new (better) constructs.
Other than that mention, zen practitioners rarely speak about the mental or physical result of frequent zazen. To them, zazen is never finished, so there is no result.
I have done a lot of zazen (for me) in the last few days, and I definitely feel a change in my mental constructs already. I have been to the zen center for the 5:25 zazen every morning since monday (its wednesday).
I am experiencing less impulsive emotions. I am usually only present when Im doing something that requires focus. But even in driving, exercising and walking, I am usually not present. I am thinking. After frequent zazen, however, those three activities involve less thinking. At first they seem to be more dull because of it, but thats only because Im not experiencing the emotions created by memories of the past, aspirations for the future, or complete fantasies.
Those impulsive emotions created by thoughts are not as satisfying or meaningful as emotions created by actual interaction with the outside world such as the joy from laughing with a friend or riding a wave or the sadness from saying goodbye.
As of this wednesday, I hope to keep up frequent zazen and continue changing my mental constructs. I know longer wish to experience so much emotion from memories or fantasies.
I will keep updating this group with my zazen experiences in hopes of either sparking conversation or building a personal record for me to reference in the future.