He Tries To Make Me Happy...but I'm Very Unhappy

I gave my ex-boyfriend a 2nd second chance and I wish I hadn't. When we were together the first time our bad definitely outweighed the good. The arguments were bad, really bad. Things got physical--we would literally fight. I stayed mad, I would throw blows/hits/punches and he hit right back but when he hit back or hit me I got seriously injured. We broke up and I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I soon began dating a close friend of mine and 5 months later he ended up dumping me for someone else. Heart broken and torn and embarrassed my ex began reaching out to me. One of the times he had let me know his mother had just passed away that night. Soon after that we began dating again. I dont know why i did it, other than i felt bad b/c he had just lost his mom and he didnt really have anyone else. But i knew in my heart that's not where i needed to be or wanted to be. he assred me things wold be different this go 'round and they were. but i wasnt happy. i didnt want to be with him but i felt bad about breaking up with him again. i did the worst thing by dragging it out and saying i love you and etc. i felt horrible and i knew i was wrong. i cheated. and he found out. i denied it but we both knew. i ended things but this time i just fel guilty. what do i do?
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 11, 2013