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My Wife Is My Disciplianrian

While I've been married fro over 20 years, I've only been spanked for the past six.  It has made a huge difference in my behavior, attitude, relating to my family, motivation, and job preformance.  I'll gladly share more if anyone is interested.

JamieW JamieW 51-55, M 93 Responses Mar 3, 2008

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You are VERY lucky that your wife realized what is missing in your life and has added it. You sound very happy.

I'm usually spanked before a meal , my wife can enjoy watching me squirm uncomfortably in my seat.

Now you have not only a hot dinner but a hot reminder to help you enjoy your dinner. How does she spank you? Do you thank her by doing the dishes while displaying her handy work? Wattanobie

I would love to hear more

I receive my first adult spanking from my first wife's mother. I was young and had know idea of what I was in for. The first time my wife 's sister were in ear shot and it was really hard for me to face them and I always feared others might find out. Over the years my ii was spanked by her several times and believe me there was no sexual component., at least for me.. When I got divorced my now ex mother in law found ways to continue to control me through threats of telling people about how she "handles " me.

When I remarried she connected with my new wife and to my amazement solicited my new wife's support. I was mortified when I was confronted by both and spanked by my ex mil while my wife watched.

My new wife had spanked me while visiting her sister and my sister in law didn't see the spanking but heard it. She seemed shocked and only said " very interesting".

I hate the idea of other knowing and the threat of being outed about my ex mil really terrified me.

Is spanking a recently-acquired interest for you? If not, why did it take you 14+ years before you delved into it with your wife? What prompted you two to start? Did you have other spanking partners before you and your wife began? Do you also spank her?

Its been a life-long (or at least adulthood-long) interest of mine, but not hers, and it took her some time to realize it would help me and our relationship. I have had other spanking partners, both before my wife started and since. No, I don\'t spank her.

Although my wife spanks me, and it does help a great deal, I also still feel the need to be spanked by a man sometimes - and I\'m mostly gay but my spanking desires are not sexually driven. I\'ve also spanked a lot of men in my life, and wouldn\'t mind adding you to the list.

This has helped our marriage along the way. Unfortunately she is limited do to a collapsed spine

My wife and I experimented with many different positions for
her to discipline me. Then I asked her which she preferred. She said she preferred for me to lay across her lap, which happens to be the same position my mother used.

So we have an agreement that every Sunday when I get out of the shower she will be waiting for me, seated in a chair with a wooden bath brush. These are maintenance spankings that we feel are necessary to deter me from any form of disobedience---particularly self pleasuring to the point of ******, an activity that's very difficult for me to avoid without the promise of a severe spanking if I do such a thing.

Someone has to be in charge within a marriage and I am so glad it is my wife. Loving her, serving her, and obeying her, has made me happier than I've ever been in my life and I love the fantastic intimacy!

I think that's the best position for a spanking otk !

I have been married for 5 months and my wife started beating me as a joke with a wooden spoon just before Christmas.

But she has really got into it and we have now purchased 2 leather straps and 2 canes - one rattan and the other a short 8mm delrin cane. I get dealt with every 2 weeks and the number of strokes is based on the rolling of 8 dice.... Still yet to receive a good thrashing but sure it will happen sooner rather than later!!

Due to me being argumentative however, she has now told me that I have 17 with the Delrin cane waiting for me in addition to the 8 roles of the dice... Gulp!

I forgot to bring home dinner and my wife was upset and told me to call the restaurant and order the pizza ahead of time so we don't have to wait, because she was very hungry. While I was on the phone I heard "Wffffffttt" "Wffftttttt" She was swinging her favorite cane. I received 36 very hard stokes on my bare butt. When she is hungry she can get real mean..... Later she chuckled as we were eating dinner and she noticed me squirming in my chair. disgraziato

Your wife is paramount. You should be grateful she cares for you,

Your wife cares for you and wants you to be her MAN. Accept your spankings with gratitude that she LOVES YOU.

Does or did your wife spank the children as well, or is that your job?

We shared that responsibility.

Your wife knows that men are just little boys grown older. Most men I know should be disciplined by their wives. In addition to spankings, they should be made to wear a pretty apron and do the housework for her.

My wife is deceased now but when she was my disciplinarian every Saturday she had me naked and wearing a French maids apron while cleaning the house. Every so often she would check up on me and she always carried a riding crop with her and would give me 10 whacks with the crop if I was doing a good job, they were rather mild whacks and she would say that's a reward for doing a good job. If she wasn't satified with the job I was doing she gave me 30 hard whacks with the crop and would come back later to see if I did the job right. I am happy to say that after getting the 30 whacks she never had to give me more whacks when she came to inspect the job I did.

You bet I do the housework! She also keeps me nude so that she has quick direct access. There are many times I will have redo's and by that time a red caboose.

It definitely can be sexual, and in most cases anticipation and afterglow are a turn-on for me, but for the most part the spanking is for disciplinary value. It helps me focus and motivates me to do better in everything (including sex I guess).

People who have never tried it don't get it. It is not sex it is a whole different thing.My wife agreed to to it to me last year and now it is a weekly thing.the anticipation and pleasure are impossible to describe. Try it!

I just asked my wife last night to be my mistress, she was very into it and has whipped my *** red 3 times since. she has forbiddin me from ************ and said if I do it to record with my camera phone so she can watch it then give me my due punishment. I just went upstairs to take a shower and recorded me ************ to ******. wish me luck as i go and show it to her, she made it very clear that this will be quite an *** whipping if i did this.

My wife is pissed, she told me to go upstairs and wait for her, what have i done

Just a little background first. My wife of almost 25 years is a beautiful woman and I asked her to be my mistress. We have never done anything like this before and i was not even sure she would do it. So when she agreed I was very excited and she suggested we try it for 2 weeks. She made me agree that its her way, no exceptions during this time. She told me that self pleasuring is forbidden and will carry a heavy fine. Well I thought I would see if she ment it so I disobeyed on purpose and showed her the video. ( she told me to record it if I chose to disobey). So I'm thinking this is n o bog deal until I showed her. This is the first day of the new arrangment and she is pissed and tells me to wait for her upstairs. She starts with about 25 spanks with a large wooden spoon on my bare behind. Then she takes the time to tie me to the bed with my legs over my head and gives me another 30 or so. You would think she's done this all her life. Her spanks would be in groups of 5 or 6 very fast spanks with short breaks in between. She then followed with whipping pf my balls with the end of one of her belts. She then retied me to the bed ( spread eagle ) put on a blindfold ( a pair of her underwear) and left me there while she went tanning and the store. 2 hours later she let me free and told me this is not finished yet and there will be more tomorrow. My new mistress means business and I still have 12 days to to.

i agree nixxon i am in a cb n trained by my gf im 17 shes 26 n she would flip if i ever got of with out her permishion

Well phase 2 of my punishment was not what I expected. She bound my wrists together and my ankles and stretched me across the bed face down. I received about 20 spanks on my bare add with a wood hair brush. ( I don't know where she got the idea bit it hurts much more than the wooden spoon ) and then left me alone for an hour to "think about what I did". When she returned she explained that what made her mad was that I did it behind her back and from now on I need to ask. Then she kissed me deeply and said I love you. Then she rolled me over and began stroking me. I was shocked until she informed me that i will not be allowed an ****** for the. entire month of august and I will still be responsible for serving her in every way including intercourse with no release for me. She then stoked me for at least 10 minutes warning me not to even think about ******. This will be a long month.

I forgot to mention that this new punishment also makes this trial period go from 2 weeks to a full month. Mistress did not give me any choice on that............ P.S. I love my Mistress

2 More Responses

hallo all,-<br />
i am a man with 29 years,-my mother in law spanked me always very hard with a leather-paddle or a cane!although my (older) sisters in law spanked me very often,-they liked to use the carpet-beater which they named bottom-beater!in my first marriage i made many mistakes but the only goog thing was that my wife startet to punish me even very hard,-with a whip for my contacts to other wifes! but now i am in a second marriage and,-<br />
my mother of law educated my new wife in punishing my naked bottom!<br />
my dear,-what a good teacher she is,-my wifw now is very strictly a nearly every day i get a intensive punihment on my bare-bottom! she likes this very,-very,-indeed!she is pashioned now for hot-red male-bottoms,-my bottom! she uses whips as well as canes or leather-belts,-and in presence of other women like her girl-friends,-which are helping her,-or in presence of neighbours or my mother in law,-which also is continuing in caning me !<br />
but my relation to my wife now is qite perfekt,-i am following quite very good her orders,-<br />
and sexually...she uses my **** very frequently,-says that i am her stallion,....-i am very and very good satisfied....every day....but even well caned or whipped! best solution!!!!!

Greetings Everyone, glad I have found this group. My wife started spanking me a few months ago. When I first asked her to spank, she said "Oh, no I could never do anything like that at all."<br />
<br />
So I wrote her a letter telling her of my need for discipline and better control of my attitude and moods, my desire to be submissive to her and told her that I thought she would enjoy the feelings of power and control when she spanked me.<br />
<br />
It certainly worked and sometimes I do wonder if now I have created a monster. No, we both enjoy it immensely and she has seen the resultant improvement in my behavior most definately.<br />
<br />
I never go more than two days without a spanking. She uses a paddle and a strap, sometimes a wooden spoon. She bends me over throughout the house; over the dining room table, over the chaise couch in the living room, over the bed, has me grab the bottom step of the stepstool, eeven in the laundry room.<br />
<br />
We are a very happy couple indeed!

There is nothing as good as being chastised by your wife !!

I\'d recommend a package deal including a ***** and a paddle! A long double headed ***** can be really fun with the wife.

You are a very lucky man to have such a wonderful wife.

I was in a Femdom relationship with a massage therapist who believed in being paid to whip me because giving her money for a whipping was double payment for my bad behavior. She would make me come to her for what she called a check up of my sinful nature then sentence me with a fine and a whipping. She used paddles and her feared dressage whip which made welts that lasted 2 weeks. Taking a whipping was most fearful. I respected her always and was her naked slave around the house where she always had a paddle or whip handy to give me a snap on the bare bottom to motivate me. She loved my cooking in the nude and made me watch her eat before she allowed me to eat.

My new wife was introduced to the idea of adult spanking by my first wife's mother, I have posted here about the punishments I have endured from my ex mother in law. After hearing of some pretty serious misdeeds of mine from my ex mother in law my new wife witnessed her spanking me. Much to our mutual surprise she found the whole thing intriguing. She has since stated giving me weekly tasks and at each weekend I am graded if she is not satisfied I am punished. While this is consensual the spankings hurt like hell! The spankings from my ex mil were anything but stimulating but with my new wife they are after the fact adding to our intimacy.

I'd love to hear more about your spankings and especially how you got your wife to do it in the first place. I'm envious.

While I can certainly understand your positions slave0033 and nixxon, for me it is all about real discipline to curb real misbehavior, and not at all about submission. I'm definitely the alpha-male type and my marriage is a true partnership, but sometimes I screw up and need to be corrected.

It\'s actually better if it\'s a father figure. There are sexual feelings associated with it, but it is primarily for discipline.

And now Gigglets, the 61 to 65 year old crossdressing male who likes pictures of boys in dresses, supports anti-glbt laws, and claims to be a retired youth services professional has blocked me and apparently deleted the entire thread in that other group. Please take a moment to check his profile for yourself.

Now in addition to having been called lazy, having my credentials ridiculed, my words twisted and taken out of context, been accused of being a *********, etc., I've been misquoted and physically threatened by these supposedly non-violent anti-spankers from that other group.

Well, this conversation certainly heated up. :-) I find myself pretty much in agreement with Jamie - adult corporal punishment and parental spanking as discipline are two very separate issues. My earlier quote that is common (in various phrases) in the adult spanking community that "spanking is for grownups" really was not intended to condemn sane, moderate parental spanking (and no child should receive a true disciplinary wife style spanking) - but to say the two should always be kept separate. I will not offer an opinion as to the morality of a sane, moderate parental spanking - say putting a 5 year old over your knee and giving him a few swats to reinforce not playing in the street. Some would find this ob<x>jectionable - others would be in complete agreement. <br />
<br />
I was spanked as a child - that's the era I am from. I have no resentments about that - and some of my spankings were memorable - but not (imo) abusive. However, I will say that I do believe that one particular spanking that my aunt gave me at age 11 (otk with a hairbrush, and my underwear pulled up into my crack) triggered my love of maternal style discipline - but then I have no regrets about that either. But it probably does show the long term effects that spanking can have and why caution is necessary. We chose not to spank our children (grown now) for a number of reasons but I do not condemn those who do choose to do so as long it is sane and moderate. My wife's sister - who has witnessed my wife spank me - spanked her two boys regularly as they were growing up. She found that it was necessary to keep her two wild boys in line - which is why she completely understands the disciplinary wife concept. She was not abusive to her boys and they both grew up to be responsible young adults with no apparent ill effects. <br />
<br />
Anyway - just a few more thoughts on this issue. :-)<br />
<br />

I was not bragging about my degrees, I was stating the facts of my training and experience. Adult sexuality, including fetishes, should not be confused with the discussion of parenting techniques. I happen to have a fair degree of expertise in both, as well as being a parent who has a number of fetishes which are confined to consenting adults.

Rather than contacting Monica for more details, just check out this link and read the entire exchange -

Jamie,<br />
<br />
Thanks for your comments on my speculations. :-)<br />
<br />
As we both noted, in the real world, it's very much an individual preference,<br />
with both F/M and M/F relationships and female tops and bottoms, and male<br />
tops and bottoms. My speculation as to which might be inherently better in <br />
a magical situation was just for fun - although I do stand by my reasoning. <br />
<br />
My wife and I both do believe that if more women understood the benefits of the <br />
Disciplinary Wife lifestyle and could get past their cultural conditioning, it would be<br />
much more common! In fact, my wife - who was as vanilla as they come until giving<br />
this a shot - is completely convinced that this is the best way to run a marriage, and<br />
was very surprised to realize (as she researched spousal discipline on the Net) that<br />
M/F is far more common than F/M.<br />
<br />
My wife and I, both before and after the start of our Disciplinary Wife relationship,<br />
utilized a partnership approach - with each of us doing what we do best, and both<br />
contributing to the chores and such - probably a bit like your marriage. The only <br />
real change in the structure of our arrangement was that I conceded disciplinary <br />
authority to her - granting her the right to utilize corporal discipline at her sole discretion.<br />
However, our use of corporal punishment is not necessarily just for a punishment for<br />
a wrong doing - although that is a very major component. But is also for "general<br />
discipline" - including a weekly maintenance paddling to "keep me in line - remind me<br />
of my place - keep me humble, etc". And occasionally, like the author of the "Husband's Essay" in the "Real People" section of the DWC website, I have to accept that part of the DW package is<br />
that my wife gets to take out her frustrations on my backside now and then. And part of our<br />
deal is that if I feel I need a spanking, she will honor that need - although after I ask, I lose<br />
all say in how the spanking is conducted. But all relationships have their own individual nuances.<br />
<br />
We do not subscribe to mistress-slave model. Outside of the disciplinary arrangement, we are still very much a typical modern American partnership marriage - although there have been sexual ramifications as well (some of which I have posted about earlier on this board) - and most importantly we are much happier and fight a whole lot less - since most fights would end quickly with me getting my bare bottom warmed.<br />
<br />

I think it does entirely depend on the individuals involved, whether M/f, F/m or mutual accountability will be more effective. I have seen all three work very well for those couples that practice them. The key to a successful domestic discipline relationship is not (except in a small percentage of individuals) a matter of one or the other being in charge and able to punish the other. The key is that punishment only be administered for wrongdoing, not for displeasing the partner. In my personal case, my wife and I consider each other to be totally equal and confer on most decisions. But corporal punishment is very effective for me, so when I do something wrong (not just something she doesn't like), she has the freedom to spank me as she sees fit.

After adding my thoughts in the last post about the general agreement here that male bottoms were made for our wives to spank, I went out to run a few errands and starting thinking along philosophical lines as I was driving about.<br />
<br />
In truth, both male and female bottoms are perfect for spanking. Bottoms are well padded to prevent any permanent damage so they can be spanked frequently without concern (and, as we all know, the female bottom is generally better padded than the male's rear). There are no critical internal organs in the bottom that might be damaged during a severe paddling - not to say that the internal plumbing is not important but it won't be damaged by a sound butt blistering. And, the bottom is a "private" spot - thus adding the element of shame and humiliation to the spanking and making the punishment even more effective. And because it is a private area, the results of the spanking will be covered from the general public that generally would not understand the value of a true disciplinary spanking - yet another reason that the bottom is so perfect for disciplinary purposes. <br />
<br />
So why is it that it should be the male behind being spanked - and not the female of our species?<br />
In the real world, of all those that do actually practice spousal corporal discipline, it seems that a sizable majority actually lean toward M/F (male spanking female - or the "Taken in Hand" movement) rather than F/M (female spanking male - or the "Disciplinary Wife" or "Loving Female Authority" concept). My guess is that this is the result of a culture that has put males in charge since the dawn of the species - with the root of that being the male's superior physical strength.<br />
<br />
And, in truth, it comes down to the individuals involved. Many males prefer to be tops (even though the desire to be disciplined by a woman is a VERY common male fantasy), and many females enjoy being bottoms (and I can relate to them enjoying a good spanking). But - as to which concept would truly create happier marriages - I truly believe that F/M just makes a lot more sense. It levels the playing field. Since men are usually physically stronger with testosterone driven aggressive behaviors, granting the wife the authority to keep those behaviors in checks with a good old fashioned bare bottom spanking just makes sense. And it just seems that the concept of maternal discipline - and the underlying values that represents - makes a lot more sense than allowing the husband with his testosterone driven aggressiveness to be the one doing the spanking. <br />
<br />
So, if a Great Genie were to decide that the institution of marriage would be much more successful if spousal discipline were the publicly accepted norm, and that he would magically install this concept into our society - which concept should the Genie choose? Again, it honestly seems to me that the Wife - with her maternal nature to protect the family - would do a much better job than the male of the species in doling out the discipline.<br />
<br />

Nixxon and Jamie,<br />
<br />
I have to agree with both of you - male bottoms were made to be spanked (paddled, strapped) - as well as to receive an enema nozzle, plug, or strap-on when the wife deems it necessary. <br />
<br />
Jamie - my wife and I would both agree with you that the male backside is for discipline and the male front side is for pleasure. <br />
<br />
Nixxon - as to rapists, I would be ok with having their balls removed - after the woman has first smashed them to stop the rape.<br />
<br />

Al we like your idea: castration and a penisectomy is great for a male rapist as now he is totally neutered. A similar move would also help with a female sex deviate.

My opinion is that ***** are made for spanking, and ***** and balls have other more important uses. Hope your wife and her sister keep going now that they have started.

Thanks Nixxon, I certainly am proud of her. She recognizes that I need spankings to help me be my best, and she is willing to do it even though she doesn't like to.

Al99 - My parents had heard my wife spank me before she did it in front of them, plus my wife and my mom had heard a good belt whipping my dad gave me when I was 32 years old and we had been married for 6 years. For me the embarrassment of needing a spanking in the first place outweighs the embarrassment of someone witnessing it.

Jamie - having your wife spank you in front of your parents had to be pretty high up he embarrassment scale! And although I have now been spanked in front of my wife's sister, when I think of others that might conceivably witness her spanking me, I believe it would be even more humiliating with anyone else. At least Susan is open minded and intrigued by our disciplinary arrangement - and had already known most of the details for the last couple of years - and a solid belief that my wife took a hairbrush to my backside on occasion for some years before that. Now that the ice is broken - close to ten years since we began this lifestyle - I don't think she will hesitate to paddle me in front of Susan if it happens to work out that way. And, although it would be very humiliating for anyone else I can think of, I believe it possible that she would find it easier to paddle me in front of others as well. I've noticed that as we go along with this lifestyle, she has become more relaxed with threatening to spank me in front of friends and family. Most seem to dismiss it as a bit of humor, but every now and then I see a look of what seems to be knowing - or at least suspicion.