Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

My Wife Is My Disciplianrian

While I've been married fro over 20 years, I've only been spanked for the past six.  It has made a huge difference in my behavior, attitude, relating to my family, motivation, and job preformance.  I'll gladly share more if anyone is interested.

JamieW JamieW 51-55, M 92 Responses Mar 3, 2008

Your Response


You are VERY lucky that your wife realized what is missing in your life and has added it. You sound very happy.

I'm usually spanked before a meal , my wife can enjoy watching me squirm uncomfortably in my seat.

Now you have not only a hot dinner but a hot reminder to help you enjoy your dinner. How does she spank you? Do you thank her by doing the dishes while displaying her handy work? Wattanobie

I would love to hear more

I receive my first adult spanking from my first wife's mother. I was young and had know idea of what I was in for. The first time my wife 's sister were in ear shot and it was really hard for me to face them and I always feared others might find out. Over the years my ii was spanked by her several times and believe me there was no sexual component., at least for me.. When I got divorced my now ex mother in law found ways to continue to control me through threats of telling people about how she "handles " me.

When I remarried she connected with my new wife and to my amazement solicited my new wife's support. I was mortified when I was confronted by both and spanked by my ex mil while my wife watched.

My new wife had spanked me while visiting her sister and my sister in law didn't see the spanking but heard it. She seemed shocked and only said " very interesting".

I hate the idea of other knowing and the threat of being outed about my ex mil really terrified me.

This has helped our marriage along the way. Unfortunately she is limited do to a collapsed spine

My wife and I experimented with many different positions for
her to discipline me. Then I asked her which she preferred. She said she preferred for me to lay across her lap, which happens to be the same position my mother used.

So we have an agreement that every Sunday when I get out of the shower she will be waiting for me, seated in a chair with a wooden bath brush. These are maintenance spankings that we feel are necessary to deter me from any form of disobedience---particularly self pleasuring to the point of ******, an activity that's very difficult for me to avoid without the promise of a severe spanking if I do such a thing.

Someone has to be in charge within a marriage and I am so glad it is my wife. Loving her, serving her, and obeying her, has made me happier than I've ever been in my life and I love the fantastic intimacy!

I think that's the best position for a spanking otk !

I have been married for 5 months and my wife started beating me as a joke with a wooden spoon just before Christmas.

But she has really got into it and we have now purchased 2 leather straps and 2 canes - one rattan and the other a short 8mm delrin cane. I get dealt with every 2 weeks and the number of strokes is based on the rolling of 8 dice.... Still yet to receive a good thrashing but sure it will happen sooner rather than later!!

Due to me being argumentative however, she has now told me that I have 17 with the Delrin cane waiting for me in addition to the 8 roles of the dice... Gulp!

I forgot to bring home dinner and my wife was upset and told me to call the restaurant and order the pizza ahead of time so we don't have to wait, because she was very hungry. While I was on the phone I heard "Wffffffttt" "Wffftttttt" She was swinging her favorite cane. I received 36 very hard stokes on my bare butt. When she is hungry she can get real mean..... Later she chuckled as we were eating dinner and she noticed me squirming in my chair. disgraziato

Your wife is paramount. You should be grateful she cares for you,

Your wife cares for you and wants you to be her MAN. Accept your spankings with gratitude that she LOVES YOU.

Does or did your wife spank the children as well, or is that your job?

We shared that responsibility.

Your wife knows that men are just little boys grown older. Most men I know should be disciplined by their wives. In addition to spankings, they should be made to wear a pretty apron and do the housework for her.

My wife is deceased now but when she was my disciplinarian every Saturday she had me naked and wearing a French maids apron while cleaning the house. Every so often she would check up on me and she always carried a riding crop with her and would give me 10 whacks with the crop if I was doing a good job, they were rather mild whacks and she would say that's a reward for doing a good job. If she wasn't satified with the job I was doing she gave me 30 hard whacks with the crop and would come back later to see if I did the job right. I am happy to say that after getting the 30 whacks she never had to give me more whacks when she came to inspect the job I did.

You bet I do the housework! She also keeps me nude so that she has quick direct access. There are many times I will have redo's and by that time a red caboose.

It definitely can be sexual, and in most cases anticipation and afterglow are a turn-on for me, but for the most part the spanking is for disciplinary value. It helps me focus and motivates me to do better in everything (including sex I guess).

People who have never tried it don't get it. It is not sex it is a whole different thing.My wife agreed to to it to me last year and now it is a weekly thing.the anticipation and pleasure are impossible to describe. Try it!

I just asked my wife last night to be my mistress, she was very into it and has whipped my *** red 3 times since. she has forbiddin me from ************ and said if I do it to record with my camera phone so she can watch it then give me my due punishment. I just went upstairs to take a shower and recorded me ************ to ******. wish me luck as i go and show it to her, she made it very clear that this will be quite an *** whipping if i did this.

My wife is pissed, she told me to go upstairs and wait for her, what have i done

Just a little background first. My wife of almost 25 years is a beautiful woman and I asked her to be my mistress. We have never done anything like this before and i was not even sure she would do it. So when she agreed I was very excited and she suggested we try it for 2 weeks. She made me agree that its her way, no exceptions during this time. She told me that self pleasuring is forbidden and will carry a heavy fine. Well I thought I would see if she ment it so I disobeyed on purpose and showed her the video. ( she told me to record it if I chose to disobey). So I'm thinking this is n o bog deal until I showed her. This is the first day of the new arrangment and she is pissed and tells me to wait for her upstairs. She starts with about 25 spanks with a large wooden spoon on my bare behind. Then she takes the time to tie me to the bed with my legs over my head and gives me another 30 or so. You would think she's done this all her life. Her spanks would be in groups of 5 or 6 very fast spanks with short breaks in between. She then followed with whipping pf my balls with the end of one of her belts. She then retied me to the bed ( spread eagle ) put on a blindfold ( a pair of her underwear) and left me there while she went tanning and the store. 2 hours later she let me free and told me this is not finished yet and there will be more tomorrow. My new mistress means business and I still have 12 days to to.

i agree nixxon i am in a cb n trained by my gf im 17 shes 26 n she would flip if i ever got of with out her permishion

Well phase 2 of my punishment was not what I expected. She bound my wrists together and my ankles and stretched me across the bed face down. I received about 20 spanks on my bare add with a wood hair brush. ( I don't know where she got the idea bit it hurts much more than the wooden spoon ) and then left me alone for an hour to "think about what I did". When she returned she explained that what made her mad was that I did it behind her back and from now on I need to ask. Then she kissed me deeply and said I love you. Then she rolled me over and began stroking me. I was shocked until she informed me that i will not be allowed an ****** for the. entire month of august and I will still be responsible for serving her in every way including intercourse with no release for me. She then stoked me for at least 10 minutes warning me not to even think about ******. This will be a long month.

I forgot to mention that this new punishment also makes this trial period go from 2 weeks to a full month. Mistress did not give me any choice on that............ P.S. I love my Mistress

2 More Responses

hallo all,-<br />
i am a man with 29 years,-my mother in law spanked me always very hard with a leather-paddle or a cane!although my (older) sisters in law spanked me very often,-they liked to use the carpet-beater which they named bottom-beater!in my first marriage i made many mistakes but the only goog thing was that my wife startet to punish me even very hard,-with a whip for my contacts to other wifes! but now i am in a second marriage and,-<br />
my mother of law educated my new wife in punishing my naked bottom!<br />
my dear,-what a good teacher she is,-my wifw now is very strictly a nearly every day i get a intensive punihment on my bare-bottom! she likes this very,-very,-indeed!she is pashioned now for hot-red male-bottoms,-my bottom! she uses whips as well as canes or leather-belts,-and in presence of other women like her girl-friends,-which are helping her,-or in presence of neighbours or my mother in law,-which also is continuing in caning me !<br />
but my relation to my wife now is qite perfekt,-i am following quite very good her orders,-<br />
and sexually...she uses my **** very frequently,-says that i am her stallion,....-i am very and very good satisfied....every day....but even well caned or whipped! best solution!!!!!

Greetings Everyone, glad I have found this group. My wife started spanking me a few months ago. When I first asked her to spank, she said "Oh, no I could never do anything like that at all."<br />
<br />
So I wrote her a letter telling her of my need for discipline and better control of my attitude and moods, my desire to be submissive to her and told her that I thought she would enjoy the feelings of power and control when she spanked me.<br />
<br />
It certainly worked and sometimes I do wonder if now I have created a monster. No, we both enjoy it immensely and she has seen the resultant improvement in my behavior most definately.<br />
<br />
I never go more than two days without a spanking. She uses a paddle and a strap, sometimes a wooden spoon. She bends me over throughout the house; over the dining room table, over the chaise couch in the living room, over the bed, has me grab the bottom step of the stepstool, eeven in the laundry room.<br />
<br />
We are a very happy couple indeed!

There is nothing as good as being chastised by your wife !!

I\'d recommend a package deal including a ***** and a paddle! A long double headed ***** can be really fun with the wife.

You are a very lucky man to have such a wonderful wife.

I was in a Femdom relationship with a massage therapist who believed in being paid to whip me because giving her money for a whipping was double payment for my bad behavior. She would make me come to her for what she called a check up of my sinful nature then sentence me with a fine and a whipping. She used paddles and her feared dressage whip which made welts that lasted 2 weeks. Taking a whipping was most fearful. I respected her always and was her naked slave around the house where she always had a paddle or whip handy to give me a snap on the bare bottom to motivate me. She loved my cooking in the nude and made me watch her eat before she allowed me to eat.

My new wife was introduced to the idea of adult spanking by my first wife's mother, I have posted here about the punishments I have endured from my ex mother in law. After hearing of some pretty serious misdeeds of mine from my ex mother in law my new wife witnessed her spanking me. Much to our mutual surprise she found the whole thing intriguing. She has since stated giving me weekly tasks and at each weekend I am graded if she is not satisfied I am punished. While this is consensual the spankings hurt like hell! The spankings from my ex mil were anything but stimulating but with my new wife they are after the fact adding to our intimacy.

I'd love to hear more about your spankings and especially how you got your wife to do it in the first place. I'm envious.

While I can certainly understand your positions slave0033 and nixxon, for me it is all about real discipline to curb real misbehavior, and not at all about submission. I'm definitely the alpha-male type and my marriage is a true partnership, but sometimes I screw up and need to be corrected.

It\'s actually better if it\'s a father figure. There are sexual feelings associated with it, but it is primarily for discipline.

And now Gigglets, the 61 to 65 year old crossdressing male who likes pictures of boys in dresses, supports anti-glbt laws, and claims to be a retired youth services professional has blocked me and apparently deleted the entire thread in that other group. Please take a moment to check his profile for yourself.

Now in addition to having been called lazy, having my credentials ridiculed, my words twisted and taken out of context, been accused of being a *********, etc., I've been misquoted and physically threatened by these supposedly non-violent anti-spankers from that other group.

Well, this conversation certainly heated up. :-) I find myself pretty much in agreement with Jamie - adult corporal punishment and parental spanking as discipline are two very separate issues. My earlier quote that is common (in various phrases) in the adult spanking community that "spanking is for grownups" really was not intended to condemn sane, moderate parental spanking (and no child should receive a true disciplinary wife style spanking) - but to say the two should always be kept separate. I will not offer an opinion as to the morality of a sane, moderate parental spanking - say putting a 5 year old over your knee and giving him a few swats to reinforce not playing in the street. Some would find this ob<x>jectionable - others would be in complete agreement. <br />
<br />
I was spanked as a child - that's the era I am from. I have no resentments about that - and some of my spankings were memorable - but not (imo) abusive. However, I will say that I do believe that one particular spanking that my aunt gave me at age 11 (otk with a hairbrush, and my underwear pulled up into my crack) triggered my love of maternal style discipline - but then I have no regrets about that either. But it probably does show the long term effects that spanking can have and why caution is necessary. We chose not to spank our children (grown now) for a number of reasons but I do not condemn those who do choose to do so as long it is sane and moderate. My wife's sister - who has witnessed my wife spank me - spanked her two boys regularly as they were growing up. She found that it was necessary to keep her two wild boys in line - which is why she completely understands the disciplinary wife concept. She was not abusive to her boys and they both grew up to be responsible young adults with no apparent ill effects. <br />
<br />
Anyway - just a few more thoughts on this issue. :-)<br />
<br />

I was not bragging about my degrees, I was stating the facts of my training and experience. Adult sexuality, including fetishes, should not be confused with the discussion of parenting techniques. I happen to have a fair degree of expertise in both, as well as being a parent who has a number of fetishes which are confined to consenting adults.

Rather than contacting Monica for more details, just check out this link and read the entire exchange -

Jamie,<br />
<br />
Thanks for your comments on my speculations. :-)<br />
<br />
As we both noted, in the real world, it's very much an individual preference,<br />
with both F/M and M/F relationships and female tops and bottoms, and male<br />
tops and bottoms. My speculation as to which might be inherently better in <br />
a magical situation was just for fun - although I do stand by my reasoning. <br />
<br />
My wife and I both do believe that if more women understood the benefits of the <br />
Disciplinary Wife lifestyle and could get past their cultural conditioning, it would be<br />
much more common! In fact, my wife - who was as vanilla as they come until giving<br />
this a shot - is completely convinced that this is the best way to run a marriage, and<br />
was very surprised to realize (as she researched spousal discipline on the Net) that<br />
M/F is far more common than F/M.<br />
<br />
My wife and I, both before and after the start of our Disciplinary Wife relationship,<br />
utilized a partnership approach - with each of us doing what we do best, and both<br />
contributing to the chores and such - probably a bit like your marriage. The only <br />
real change in the structure of our arrangement was that I conceded disciplinary <br />
authority to her - granting her the right to utilize corporal discipline at her sole discretion.<br />
However, our use of corporal punishment is not necessarily just for a punishment for<br />
a wrong doing - although that is a very major component. But is also for "general<br />
discipline" - including a weekly maintenance paddling to "keep me in line - remind me<br />
of my place - keep me humble, etc". And occasionally, like the author of the "Husband's Essay" in the "Real People" section of the DWC website, I have to accept that part of the DW package is<br />
that my wife gets to take out her frustrations on my backside now and then. And part of our<br />
deal is that if I feel I need a spanking, she will honor that need - although after I ask, I lose<br />
all say in how the spanking is conducted. But all relationships have their own individual nuances.<br />
<br />
We do not subscribe to mistress-slave model. Outside of the disciplinary arrangement, we are still very much a typical modern American partnership marriage - although there have been sexual ramifications as well (some of which I have posted about earlier on this board) - and most importantly we are much happier and fight a whole lot less - since most fights would end quickly with me getting my bare bottom warmed.<br />
<br />

I think it does entirely depend on the individuals involved, whether M/f, F/m or mutual accountability will be more effective. I have seen all three work very well for those couples that practice them. The key to a successful domestic discipline relationship is not (except in a small percentage of individuals) a matter of one or the other being in charge and able to punish the other. The key is that punishment only be administered for wrongdoing, not for displeasing the partner. In my personal case, my wife and I consider each other to be totally equal and confer on most decisions. But corporal punishment is very effective for me, so when I do something wrong (not just something she doesn't like), she has the freedom to spank me as she sees fit.

After adding my thoughts in the last post about the general agreement here that male bottoms were made for our wives to spank, I went out to run a few errands and starting thinking along philosophical lines as I was driving about.<br />
<br />
In truth, both male and female bottoms are perfect for spanking. Bottoms are well padded to prevent any permanent damage so they can be spanked frequently without concern (and, as we all know, the female bottom is generally better padded than the male's rear). There are no critical internal organs in the bottom that might be damaged during a severe paddling - not to say that the internal plumbing is not important but it won't be damaged by a sound butt blistering. And, the bottom is a "private" spot - thus adding the element of shame and humiliation to the spanking and making the punishment even more effective. And because it is a private area, the results of the spanking will be covered from the general public that generally would not understand the value of a true disciplinary spanking - yet another reason that the bottom is so perfect for disciplinary purposes. <br />
<br />
So why is it that it should be the male behind being spanked - and not the female of our species?<br />
In the real world, of all those that do actually practice spousal corporal discipline, it seems that a sizable majority actually lean toward M/F (male spanking female - or the "Taken in Hand" movement) rather than F/M (female spanking male - or the "Disciplinary Wife" or "Loving Female Authority" concept). My guess is that this is the result of a culture that has put males in charge since the dawn of the species - with the root of that being the male's superior physical strength.<br />
<br />
And, in truth, it comes down to the individuals involved. Many males prefer to be tops (even though the desire to be disciplined by a woman is a VERY common male fantasy), and many females enjoy being bottoms (and I can relate to them enjoying a good spanking). But - as to which concept would truly create happier marriages - I truly believe that F/M just makes a lot more sense. It levels the playing field. Since men are usually physically stronger with testosterone driven aggressive behaviors, granting the wife the authority to keep those behaviors in checks with a good old fashioned bare bottom spanking just makes sense. And it just seems that the concept of maternal discipline - and the underlying values that represents - makes a lot more sense than allowing the husband with his testosterone driven aggressiveness to be the one doing the spanking. <br />
<br />
So, if a Great Genie were to decide that the institution of marriage would be much more successful if spousal discipline were the publicly accepted norm, and that he would magically install this concept into our society - which concept should the Genie choose? Again, it honestly seems to me that the Wife - with her maternal nature to protect the family - would do a much better job than the male of the species in doling out the discipline.<br />
<br />

Nixxon and Jamie,<br />
<br />
I have to agree with both of you - male bottoms were made to be spanked (paddled, strapped) - as well as to receive an enema nozzle, plug, or strap-on when the wife deems it necessary. <br />
<br />
Jamie - my wife and I would both agree with you that the male backside is for discipline and the male front side is for pleasure. <br />
<br />
Nixxon - as to rapists, I would be ok with having their balls removed - after the woman has first smashed them to stop the rape.<br />
<br />

Al we like your idea: castration and a penisectomy is great for a male rapist as now he is totally neutered. A similar move would also help with a female sex deviate.

My opinion is that ***** are made for spanking, and ***** and balls have other more important uses. Hope your wife and her sister keep going now that they have started.

Thanks Nixxon, I certainly am proud of her. She recognizes that I need spankings to help me be my best, and she is willing to do it even though she doesn't like to.

Al99 - My parents had heard my wife spank me before she did it in front of them, plus my wife and my mom had heard a good belt whipping my dad gave me when I was 32 years old and we had been married for 6 years. For me the embarrassment of needing a spanking in the first place outweighs the embarrassment of someone witnessing it.

Jamie - having your wife spank you in front of your parents had to be pretty high up he embarrassment scale! And although I have now been spanked in front of my wife's sister, when I think of others that might conceivably witness her spanking me, I believe it would be even more humiliating with anyone else. At least Susan is open minded and intrigued by our disciplinary arrangement - and had already known most of the details for the last couple of years - and a solid belief that my wife took a hairbrush to my backside on occasion for some years before that. Now that the ice is broken - close to ten years since we began this lifestyle - I don't think she will hesitate to paddle me in front of Susan if it happens to work out that way. And, although it would be very humiliating for anyone else I can think of, I believe it possible that she would find it easier to paddle me in front of others as well. I've noticed that as we go along with this lifestyle, she has become more relaxed with threatening to spank me in front of friends and family. Most seem to dismiss it as a bit of humor, but every now and then I see a look of what seems to be knowing - or at least suspicion.

Good for your wife. My wife has spanked me in front of people, including my own parents, on several occasions. The extra embarrassment makes the punishment even more effective, and helps me behave better for longer afterwards.

A continuation of my previous post - with new developments.<br />
<br />
Saturday afternoon, I went out shopping with my my wife and her sister, Susan. At one of the stores, I felt I was treated rudely, so I went off on the salesperson. And although the salesperson might have been inappropriate - especially since I was the customer - there is not doubt that I went overboard in my response, even using a couple of swear words. Similar situations have happened before as I sometimes have a bit of a short temper - especially with sales people who I do not feel are giving me the deference I deserve as a customer. This always embarrasses my wife when she is with me, and now that we live the Disciplinary Wife lifestyle, she always gives me a good paddling for my misbehavior as soon as we got home from the store. Well, I knew that I had earned myself a trip over her knee for my outburst, but since her sister was coming home with us to grill out and spend the evening, I really thought it would be delayed but wasn't quite sure since she had switched me quietly with her sister at the house on several occasions and had for the first time, a couple of months ago, paddled me with her sister at the house (with her sister easily able to hear the paddling even with the bedroom door closed). I didn't have to wait long to find out the answer. As soon as we left the store, my wife told me - right in front of Susan - that my outburst was going to cost me a good *** blistering as soon as we got home.<br />
<br />
And she was good to her word. As soon as we got home and right in front of Susan, she instructed me to go to the bedroom and drop my drawers. I did so. A minute later my wife came into the bedroom, picked up the Vermont brush from the nightstand, and assumed her spanker's position on the bed - and tapped her lap with paddle - my cue to immediately put my my bare behind over her lap. She had not closed the bedroom door when she took her position, so I moved to do so before assuming my position. But my wife told me, "Don't bother, Susan already knows that you're in for a good long butt blistering." I started to protest but knew that it was pointless, and assumed the position. The paddling began and, as usual, within thirty or so whacks I was sobbing into the pillow (trying to keep Susan from hearing me). The relentless swats continued and just a couple of minutes later, I heard Susan's voice at the door, "Uhhh.. sorry to interrupt but I was going to start us a pitcher of margaritas.......but are we out of margarita mix.....?" Susan was standing there seeing my bare red behind across my wife's lap! - and she had undoubtedly seen her give me at least a couple of swats before my wife did stop paddling for a moment. My wife told her that she had a back up bottle in the garage fridge but just to have a seat and relax (in the recliner in the bedroom) - that she wouldn't be too much longer - and they could both get busy with dinner. Then she resumed paddling me - with Susan sitting there watching! I was extremely humiliated and embarrassed but didn't seem to have any choice in the matter. I tried not to sob but the sting and the burn were just too much and soon I was sobbing into the pillow again, knowing that Susan was seeing me get my bare behind reddened, and being made to cry like a misbehaving school boy. When she was finally finished with me, about 50 whacks later, my wife suggested that Susan start those margaritas while I got dressed. She did so, and my wife consoled me afterwards as always - reminding me it was for my own good so I could be a better man and husband. And that she was sorry if I was embarrassed about Susan having watched but that I should remember that I had embarrassed her and Susan both at the store, and it was only fair that Susan should get to witness the punishment I received for embarrassing them both. Or, perhaps, she should have let Susan paddle me as well......... I replied that while I was embarrassed that I trusted her judgment about my disciplinary needs and just left it at that!<br />
<br />
The margaritas and steaks were great and the three of had a great time watching a comedy afterwards. Nothing like a good bare bottom hair brushing to clear the air!<br />
<br />

Big Al it has happened to me so I have quickly learned to keep my mouth shut and later call the store and speak to the manager. Instead of a burning butt usually I will get an apology and a discount coupon toward a future visit and purchase. My spanking was done by my wife with help from her friend because of her back, and the remainder of the day I was bare *** in their presence.

I had posted the following comment to a thread in another group in response to a story about the wife letting her husband know when the punishment spanking was over - and decided to repost it hear with the rest of my my disciplinary wife posts - especially in light of the events of this past weekend. (which I will post shortly).<br />
______________<br />
<br />
This story (about the wife letting her husband know when the punishment spanking was over) reminds me of a similar situation in our home a few years back. It was during the first year of our disciplinary arrangement (begun after many years of "vanilla" marriage). My wife was giving me a weekly maintenance spanking one Saturday morning when her Mom called about 50 or so swats into the paddling. The bedroom phone was a simple land-line phone so she did not know who was calling and after it had rung 3 times, I thought she was going to let the answering machine in the other room pick it up. But then, just before the fourth ring would have kicked in the answering machine, she decided to answer it. I immediately buried my face in the pillow so that the person on the phone would not hear me sobbing. After my wife answered, I heard her say "Ok, Mom, I'm right in the middle of a discussion with Al at the moment, but I'll be over in a bit".<br />
For a split second, I could have sworn that was going to say that she "was right in the middle of spanking Al". I swear my gut almost flip flopped thinking that was what she was going to say that!<br />
In retrospect, it seems a bit silly, but in the "heat" of the moment, it sure was a scary moment.<br />
The spanking immediately resumed and I got another 50 or so swats with the heavier bath brush before my wife was finished with me.<br />
<br />
Her Mom still does not know - even though there have sure been plenty of hints during these last ten years of our Disciplinary Wife lifestyle - probably just too foreign to her experience.<br />
<br />
However, my wife's sister did eventually put all the hints, clues, and overheard remarks together and now is fully aware of our lifestyle. The sister has not seen my wife spank me, but my wife did recently paddle me while her sister was in our house for the first time. Her sister easily heard the entire paddling, so I think it is now just a matter of time before her sister actually sees me being spanked. <br />
<br />
(My wife had switched me before with her sister in house, however, her "silent" method of disciplining me when she doesn't want others in the house to hear - usually our grown kids. But she really prefers to paddle me - as she loves the sound of the wood on my bare behind.)

A199: I liked your article and you are lucky that only your wife takes care of your needs. How embarrassed would you be if both your wife and sister took care of your needs. When my wife and her friends take care of me I can assure you my facial cheeks and nether cheeks are almost as red. The facial from embarrassment and crying and the rear from correction and then being bare bottom for the remainder of the day.

I've been married for 26 years and have been able to talk my Wife into spanking me from time to time. Sadly She doesn't spank me often enough or hard enough to please me. She's afraid she'll hurt me. Thankfully She does like to spank my balls and while I would like the swats to be harder She does spank long enough so they're sore after wards.<br />
<br />
I really wish She would spank me hard and long so sitting is not something I want to do for a few days.

I'd definitely like to hear about it.

I am waiting for my next spanking which is in about an hour from now. I have been instructed to have her tea ready, stool in place and her spanking toys. I have been told to waer only a tee shirt and boxer shorts. she has also requested that I have my balls tied tight. I think I have been a little sharp lately and I am going to pay the price. ifd anyone is interested I will let you know how it goes.

My wife likes me knelt on a stool and orders me to present my bare bottom so she can use her toys on me. She uses canes, hairbrush, rubber strap and her hand. I think the power she has over me turns her on, I do think that since she has been spanking me out relationship has improved.

Please write and tell us in detail what happened and how you earned it?

Hi All,<br />
<br />
I posted the story on this thread of how my wife and I got started in the Disciplinary Wife lifestyle a few months back - with the intention of posting some more. But then life and work got very busy, and I just never got back to it. Anyway, I was looking over my personal copies of the posts I had done, and found this one that I had forgot to post. It's off topic somewhat from where the post started, but still very much within the realm of the dominant wife lifestyle - and is one of the directions in which this lifestyle took us. I hope to have some additional posts later more along the lines of the original post - the Disciplinary Wife who spanks her husband. ..... Al99<br />
<br />
pussielicker,<br />
<br />
In reply to your last post regarding my increased oral service....<br />
<br />
I had always enjoyed going down on my wife, and always made it a point to do so even after I our sex life had become sporadic in those years before the spanking began. However, even though she enjoyed it, and would inevitably climax, she was always concerned that she was taking too long, that I was having to work to hard, etc. - even though I constantly reassured her that I really enjoyed licking her - the taste, the aroma, bringing her to climax, etc... And there had even been a couple of times earlier on in our marriage when - after a few drinks she had even allowed me to lick her backside. She had enjoyed it immensely it seemed but after a while just wouldn't go there - she just felt it was too much to ask of me to "do that" for her pleasure. <br />
<br />
However, as she became increasingly comfortable with the sense of power that spanking me gave her, she became much more confident in assuming a dominant role in the bedroom as well. She began encouraging me to go down on her - and then to stay there for a while. Before long, she would come to bed naked and lower herself onto my face so I could service her from underneath. When I made a move to lick her backside, she did not resist, and soon she did not hesitate to roll over onto her belly and offer me her rear to worship. There were times later when she would emerge from the shower in the evening, paddle me, and then lay belly down on the bed naked to watch a favorite tv show while I licked her bottom for the duration of the show.<br />
<br />
The biggest shock, though, was the occasion when she had rode me until I had climaxed inside her - and then she had immediately grabbed the head board, pulled herself up and then lowered herself back down onto my face. She told me to lick her - that she was so close - that she needed to climax. There was *** oozing out of her but I licked - trying to stay on her **** and away from it, but women getting there clits licked seldom remain still - and I got a mouth full anyway. But I survived it and she came big time. Later, I started to complain about the ***, but she just told me not to be a wus and to get used to it - a little ***** never hurt anybody - and she had certainly tasted enough of mine over the years. And get used to it I did. My wife found that me going down on her after intercourse was very exciting and also usually resulted in very intense ******* - so dining at the Y after intercourse ended up becoming a fairly regular event. As I said, I got used to it. <br />
<br />
After a few months of this, though, my wife (who also did her share of research on the Net) told me - as she was riding me and I was approaching ****** - that if I came inside her that I would have to lick her clean. It was way too late to stop now - and "what the hell", I thought, "I was getting used to the taste of *** anyway." She remained on top of me for a minute after I climaxed - letting me recover - then moved to lower herself right onto my mouth - telling me that she expected to feel my tongue inside her, licking her clean. I ate my first real cream pie that night. After that, she continued to require me to perform clean-up duty on her on occasion - not every time but at least a couple of times a month. She keeps teasing me with the threat that one day she is going to finally let Joe (a nice older neighbor that she flirts with shamelessly) have her - and then have me eat the cream pie that she and Joe make. It's really just a tease - to excite my submissive tendencies, but on the other hand... one never knows.

JamieW - please share more. We who visit this site do love reading of others experiences. I note that there have been 61 postings on this story and would like to comment on three of the comments. Firstly to SheSpanksMe - don't be embrassed talking about it. You have come to the right site to talk about it. You will find many people who are very supportive of you. Secondly start enjoying the experiences, all it takes is for you to adjust your thinking on the spankings. You know that you are going to get them. Yes they do hurt. Think about them afterwards and smile about them.<br />
A199 - Thanks for your desc<x>riptions - very helpful.<br />
LONGHAIRPULLERS - loved your story<br />
<br />
To finish yes it is my wife who disciplines me. I need it and love it.

My wife started spanking me about two years ago at my request. I grew up in a home where my Dad didn't show my mom any respect. I felt that that was wrong and promised myself that I would never be that way. Of course I did. My marriage almost ended because I wasn't always respectful and I was too sexually driven. In order to convince my wife I would change I agreed to giving her total control over sex and she could put me OTK if I should be disrespectful. Long story short she eventually took me up on it and now I am regularly placed over-her-knee for spankings. She is in charge of sex and I am respectful and obedient. I am not however a "slave" or "sissy" just a respectful husband that feels my wife leads the family. OTK has been very good for our relationship. I would suggest it highly.

i kno she loves to spank me wen we love each i tot of giving her a surprise after marriage..i never talked abt spanking to her b4 marriage..wen we married i bot a very thick cane which is flexible made of bamboo wid a crook handle..and gave her as a gift in a pleasant way by kneeling down in front of her..she asked me wats tis [[she expected me to say her]] i told her i kno u love to spank me so u go ahead..and i told her I LOVE U..she took me to de bedroom and made me to kneel down in a stool and removed my panties thn spanked me softly..i tot it was good..she did tis thing for 2 days..after tat she showed me a video wer a guy been spanked till he cries for mercy..i was very afraid and she told me don worry i will spank u lik tis oly if u do any week i came 30 mins late tan de tym i told her..she took a very good head bath..i jus love her long hair..and she asked me to come to bedroom..i went ter made me to kneel down in a stool and she spanked me till i cried..she ordered me to count after each spank..if i shout or if i said plz leave me b4 counting..all the spanking which she done b4 will be cancelled and i need to count again frm 1..she spanked me for 2 hrs..i begged her in her feet..she didnt leave oly thing which she did for me is she allowed me to smell her beautiful thick hair for every 60 spanks..and i too enjoy tat...even now wen im typing tis im kneeling down as i couldnt sit..jus now i got a very very very hard and longggggg spanking frm ma wife for sleeping after de tym she told pains u kno..but ma wife enjoys dis and I LOVE HER SO its not a problem for me..we always hav a happy ma wife and also sometyms she punishes me in ma plam wid de same stick..wat ever she does for her happiness i will be doing it...LOVE MA SWEETIE PIE..MUAAHHHH

right, nixxon, we are on the same page. i like to see him get a hard-on and i like to see or feel it disappear under the spanking.

We;ve been married for five years and I've been spanking him even longer. He does not enjoy it, which is good.... I do like to turn him on, by dressing in sexy underwear, but his hard-on totally disapperas while i administer his punishment. Afterwards i usually have some chores for him, like ironing or cleaning up, then he is allowed to satisfy me orally. If he does well he may get lucky, if i feel like it.

My wife has a selection of punishment items that she uses on me as she feels is required, but her favourite is the cane, an old fashioned school type with a crook handle. She feels it is an item that all women should possess, as it can cause a great amount of pain with a limited amount of effort

nixxon. Thanks for the information. Please add your input at any time. When you first started out, could you have handled the heavy paddling, or, would they have been unbearable?

Al99. Your story is so good, and, you write so well, it is a shame for it to be burried in this thread. Why don't you e-mail support and see if your writings, and, the posts like mine commenting on your writings can be moved to their own story with a title you select? I think more people would see what you write and it could really benefit a lot of men and women.

Another post about those early months of our Disciplinary Wife lifestyle:<br />
<br />
As my wife and I explored the disciplinary wife lifestyle during those early months,<br />
there were a number of "firsts" - new locations, new implements, new positions - all that <br />
sort of thing. However, there were a couple of "psychologically-emotionally significant" <br />
spankings that occurred as well. The first one - a couple of months into our disciplinary arrangement - was the first time that my wife told me to drop my drawers and get across her lap - and I really did not want to, because I was just "not in the mood"<br />
to get spanked. Now this may sound a bit odd as all my spankings were "real live blister your bare bottom with a hair brush till you beg and cry paddlings" - and yet this was the first one that I "really did not want", meaning that I really did want all those other bare bottom blistering disciplinary paddlings. But here's the thing - as Kay's Jerry stated on an earlier post in this forum - "I loved the idea of a spanking - just not the actual spanking!" That statement really hits the nail on the head. The idea of a spanking is very exciting for me (and presumably many other men like me) before the spanking - and maybe even into the first few whacks of the spanking. But it doesn't take long - when your bare *** is being set on fire with never ending whacks of the hardwood hairbrush - for you to wish this paddling was over! - even though you were so excited about it just moments ago. Then, as soon as the paddling is over, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction at just having had my bare butt blistered - and even feel a small disappointment that it is over, even though I was earnestly praying for it to be over soon just seconds ago. And I am immediately excited about the possibility of another such spanking later on - even though my behind is crimson red and stinging, my eyes are all watery, and I am still sniffling. This is pretty much my normal mindset when it comes to being a spanked husband - but there is the rare occasion now and then when things are thrown out of calibration for whatever reason - and I am just not excited about getting my bare behind paddled. <br />
<br />
The first time that I found myself just really not wanting to have my bare behind blistered was on a Saturday afternoon. My wife and I were both home and the kids were both out and about. For some unknown reason, I had been a bit grumpy that day. Well, by mid-afternoon my wife had suffered enough of my grumpiness. She sat down on the bed, picked up the hair brush, told me to drop the drawers and get across her lap for an attitude adjustment. I actually thought of declining or telling her that I wasn't in the mood - but instead, something just clicked internally so to speak and I realized that if my wife said that I was going to get a paddling, then I was going to get a paddling - there was just no getting around it. It wasn't even an internal thought that "Well, I agreed to be subject to be spanked at her sole discretion, so I need to honor that" , although that would certainly have been reason enough. It was more like a deep sense that I really had no choice in the matter - my disciplinary wife had determined that I was to receive a spanking, so the matter had been decided - I simply had no say about it - I was going to have my bottom spanked whether I liked it or not, whether I wanted it or not, whether I was in the mood or not. It dawned on me later that by this point - after probably a good fifty or so previous bare bottom paddlings over the last couple of months, that I had "been thoroughly conditioned" and become truly submissive - and accepting of my wife's disciplinary dominance.<br />
<br />
As I assumed the position on the bed, my bottom positioned on my wife's lap, she could obviously tell that I was really in a funk and not really thrilled about getting a spanking. I remember her saying something like, "My, you are in a bad mood. But, maybe a good long spanking will be just the thing to improve your attitude". And it was a good long spanking - not as intense as some perhaps but longer than most - close to a couple of hundred whacks - with me sobbing most of the time. I think part of her intention was for me spend some time crying - to help me let lose some of whatever pent up emotions were bothering me. When she finally finished, I gave her the obligatory "thank you for taking the time and effort to spank me and help make me a better person" - but I actually found myself "pouting". My wife had blistered my behind for being grumpy and I was just not happy about that. To her credit, she actually recognized this and said something like, "I'm sorry if you aren't happy about getting a spanking today, but you definitely needed one - and I bet that you will feel better later." And actually, she was right - after an hour or so of "pouting", I did begin to feel better. My attitude improved and my wife and I had a very enjoyable evening together. <br />
<br />
The other early "emotionally memorable" spanking was my first "true punishment spanking" which I will write about when time permits.

Al99. Thank you so very much for the time you took to answer my questions in such detail. I think I have a general sense of how this works now, or, at least as much a sense as is possible without being a spanking receipient. I'm glad I stumbled on this website where real people have the freedom of expressing their feelings and sharing their life experiences (not to mention that a lot of content on this site is really HOT. LOL). Best wishes for a continued long and happy marriage. It sounds like a match made in heaven.

Hi again, pussielicker,<br />
<br />
Yes, I am still getting spanked on a regular basis. I have been writing mostly in the past tense as I have been telling the story of how it all began - about eight years ago now. These days, I almost always get a regular weekly maintenance paddling, and most weeks I get at least one more paddling for one reason or another. <br />
<br />
Your concerns about having one's bottom continuously battered and bruised - always black and blue - would most likely be a very legitimate medical concern. Fortunately - that is not my situation! However, it would be fair to say that my behind usually has some shading of red about it - from a nice crimson glow immediately after the paddling, to a light pink a few days later. The "sweet spots" on the center of cheeks always fade last as that is the area that gets most of the attention during my paddlings. On occasion, I may have a small bruise on my bottom if she happens to get in a real zinger at just the right spot, but this is infrequent. Also, I should add that my bottom is sore most of the time. As Aunt Kay says, in the day or two immediately following a spanking, there is always a wince when sitting down - and then there's a general soreness for another day or two - sort of an ongoing reminder of my role as a disciplined husband. I do avoid exposing my rear to others - such as at the gym - because as often as not, it does have some red shading about it. And I do get a few days without a spanking before my annual physical each year so I will not have to explain a red bottom to my doctor. <br />
<br />
From what I have read in several years of participating in forums and email discussion, and from the "bottom" pics I have seen (from other real DWC couples that I have met anonymously by email -but not in person) - I believe my experience is typical. I doubt that very few DWC style husbands get many spankings that leave them "black and blue". Perhaps in some more extreme BDSM practices this might be more common - but DWC style discipline is about loving, corporal discipline. Aunt Kay does talk about results that show a week later after a good spanking, but from the real life people I have corresponded with, I think in most cases, and in most spankings, it's more like 3 or 4 days. A spanking with marks that showed a week later would definitely be a very hard spanking but would still not leave one "black and blue". I have probably had a few spankings of that intensity over the years - when I was REALLY in trouble over something serious - but I can't say exactly how long the marks from those few spankings would have lasted - because I was always getting another paddling before they had a chance to completely fade - which is usually the case. In general though, my wife trades the more severe intensity for duration. Aunt Kay talks about 30 - 50 whacks without stopping after the warm up (but hard enough to leave marks a week later), whereas my wife gives me a hundred or more after the warm-up but whacks that obviously less severe than the one's Aunt Kay might deliver. But even though they are a little severe than those of Aunt Kay perhaps, they are still hard enough to set my bare behind on fire in short order. It's really all about the sting and the burn that each whack against the bare bottom causes - it doesn't have to be hard enough to do permanent damage to soon light a fire on one's behind - especially when the main spanking begins - and whacks just come and come without stopping - each one burning and stinging - with no break. After a couple of dozen of these, and with no end in sight, it's just hard not to give in to the pain of the discipline - which for me, means breaking down and sobbing. The effect of hardwood on a bare behind is not to be underestimated. Anyway, it can be hard to describe an experience in words - but hopefully this gives you some idea.<br />
<br />
Just a comment also about your wife not being able to respect a man who wanted to be spanked. This is a very common situation that I have read about over and over again in the forums over the years. In many cases, there is simply no changing such an attitude - it's just so ingrained into our culture. It does seem that in many cases, a couple may be together for many years before they reach an age and comfort level with each other that will allow for the possibility of a DWC lifestyle. As I shared in my story - this was my case. Even though I secretly fantasized about having a DWC wife, there had never been any indication that my wife would have the slightest interest in it. In fact, all the evidence suggested that she would have thought I was being really weird (or worse) to even bring it up. And, I think that even a few years before, that would have been the case. But when the subject finally came up (jokingly at first - over a bottle of wine), she discovered almost immediately that she absolutely loved the sense of power that it gave her - something she herself had never suspected. She also loved the resulting intimacy and closeness that followed, the greatly enhanced sex life, and even the practical implications - less arguments, taming my arrogance, breaking me of bad habits, greater deference and sensitivity to her role in our marriage. However, except for her assuming the role of a disciplinary wife, we remained very much a partnership style marriage. We both work and both contribute to the household chores in the ways that best suit our abilities and inclinations.

Al99. If you still get spanked get a good cry a couple of times a week...and at least a hundred swats each spanking, is your bottom a perpetual bruised black and blue state? I'm asking out of total ignorance here. The most swats I ever got from a belt from my wife was about a dozen. She would never accept a dominant position and said she could never respect a man who wants to be spanked.. So, I'm asking as a man who is totally ignorant on these matters. I've read a lot of the stories at DWC (God bless the women who put that site together and maintain it), and, have the impression that the marks from a good spanking still show a week later. Also, if you were spanked every day at the start of your disciplinary relationship (which I agree sounds like a sound practice of your wife in order to completely break you to submission to her), are there any health concerns with so many consecutive disciplinary spankings (increased risks of blood clotting, permanate marking, et.el.). Again, I am not at all intending any criticism of what your wife does/did (I wish it were my story complete with the the extensive oral servituted you are priviledged to enjoy giving to your wife..truely a submissive man's reason for living..and the reason I use it as my username), but, I do have concerns in this area. I have not seen the issue discussed, from a medical/permanacy of injury or marking standpoint at DWC or elsewhere. What's been your experience and what are your wife's opinions on these questions?


Al99 I am very happy your oral service to your wife has escalated greatly. I always wanted a relationship where I licked and was spanked on command. Hopefully, an endless state of licking with just enough spanking to keep me motivated. LOL.

This is follow up to my post on June 2 - some thoughts about what happened following that first weekend.<br />
<br />
My wife made good on her commitment to paddle me daily during the first week of our disciplinary contract. In fact, I ended up over her knee every day for the first ten days of our new lifestyle before I finally got a day of respite. Altogether, I am sure I received at least two dozen paddlings during that first month. <br />
<br />
And after that first real disciplinary spanking on that fateful Saturday afternoon, my wife never looked back. That spanking had immediately convinced her of the value of a "sound disciplinary spanking" - and that anything less was just waste of time. So every paddling she gave me after that was always of "disciplinary intensity" - at least a hundred whacks of the hardwood to my bare behind - inevitably reducing me to sobbing, and always leaving me with a very red and very sore bottom. From reading the advice on the DWC website, she had known from that very first spanking that a few sets of initial warm-ups were important to dampen the initial shock and prepare the husband for what was to come. But more importantly, she had learned that following the warm-ups, the main spanking should be a long continuous set of hard whacks to the bare bottom. Those non-stop whacks that just seemed to go on and on are what would eventually force that bad boy hubbie into submission. And - did she ever take that advice to heart! As I received those very frequent paddlings during that first month, I still found myself utterly confounded that my plain vanilla wife had seemingly overnight transformed into such an avid and effective disciplinarian.<br />
<br />
After the first spanking, I had confessed my embarrassment about sobbing during the spanking, but my wife had been immediately reassuring. She had fully expected to make me cry. During her disciplinary wife research on the Net, one wife had posted "Of course he cries. It's a spanking - he's supposed to cry. If your hubby is not crying by the time you finish with him, you are not spanking hard enough". This apparently had really resonated with my wife, and it was indeed her intention to spank me hard enough to reduce me to sobs during that first trial spanking as that would help her be certain that she had indeed given me a real Disciplinary Wife spanking. <br />
<br />
She went on to say that she really did not understand how anyone could take a serious bare bottom hair brush paddling and NOT cry - she knew that she certainly would. (But she had also made it very plain already that she would be the one doing ALL the spanking in our home!) She had, however, read that some men don't cry regardless of how hard you spank them. Nevertheless, she had been pretty sure I would cry if she spanked hard enough since she already knew that I had somewhat of a tender heart emotionally anyway, and had seen me cry occasionally out of upset or sadness. "This permission to cry" was actually somewhat liberating as it allowed me to more easily submit to the spanking and give into the pain without having to "put up a struggle to remain tough". Instead, I can just submit and take my spanking, sobbing and all. Typically, she has me sobbing within the first 30 whacks or so of the main spanking, and I will then continue to sob throughout the remainder of the paddling, which is seldom less than a hundred whacks. My wife never feels bad about making me cry and never cuts the spanking short because of that - she just considers it a natural part of the spanking process. In fact, she has told me that she thinks it is good for my emotional health that I get in a good cry a couple of times a week. <br />
<br />
During those first few months, my wife acquired a number of implements for her arsenal. She had me order the "Old Reliable" paddle, "Holy Terror" paddle, and the "OTK mini-cane” from the DWC website. We also ordered a leather strap and the infamous Vermont Country Store bath brush as well. Additional items were picked up locally as well - a real stout wooden kitchen spoon, another style of bath brush, a couple of different types of hairbrushes, and other such goodies. The original hairbrush went into the car, in case it was needed while we were out (and it has been - on several different occasions). The Vermont brush became the brush that was "left out in the open" - relatively inconspicuous to others, and ready for immediate use. The Vermont brush is a nasty thing - long enough for good leverage, and heavy enough for good impact - virtually built for spanking. Some of my worst spankings over the years have been with the Vermont brush. <br />
<br />
She tried out a number of different implements and various positions over those early months - the strap, the mini-cane, switches, different brushes and paddles. I was almost always paddled over the knee as we both preferred that level of intimacy. Otk with a paddle (or brush) remained her ongoing favorite. She loves the level of intimacy and vulnerability in that position, and also enjoys the sound of the hard wood smacking against my bare bottom. But I also got bent over a number of different ways when she strapped me or switched me. I did get a fair number of switchings those first few years as we still had a couple of teenagers living at the house at that point and we obviously had to avoid the noise of a paddling when one of them was home. So, if the kids were home, and a late night or bed time spanking was in order, I got it with the switch. At first she used real switches from the back yard (which I had to go fetch), but they broke quite easily, so after she acquired the DWC otk mini-cane, she used that as the "switch" most of the time - though occasionally, she still enjoyed sending me out to "cut her a real switch". <br />
<br />
I really hated those switchings - and I still get one on occasion, especially if the kids are visiting. So it was fortunate for me that my wife really preferred the paddle as well - and that we had access to a private office that was vacant after 5PM every day, and was only a couple of minutes from the house. So most of the time when an early evening paddling was called for and the kids were home, my wife would simply drive me down to the office - sort of a trip to the woodshed. I can't guess how many times I got my bare behind blistered lying across the couch in that office! My wife still keeps a hair brush stashed in the closet there. <br />
<br />
There have been many "firsts" and milestones in our disciplinary relationship, but there were a few that occurred in those first couple of months that I will write about in the next post.


Hi Pussielicker4U2. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I am intending to add some more thoughts when I have the time to type them up in a reasonably thoughtful fashion. I must admit that I found your "name" interesting because it wasn't long after the regular spankings began that I found myself doing a lot more licking as well. Even though our sex life had become dull and sporadic over the years, nevertheless when we did have sex, I always made it a point to dine at the Y on these occasions. Not only did I enjoy the aroma and taste, it also ensured her pleasure as well.<br />
But that was just merely a pale preview to what soon followed those first spankings in our evolving disciplinary wife arrangement. Lots of licking became a very regular affair and with lots of variety - front, back, underneath, smothered, before intercourse, after intercourse. After all, there's just something fitting about the image of man with a freshly well reddened bottom having his face buried between the cheeks of his disciplinarian's bottom.

Al99. What a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.

I need some help. My wife has started punishing me and I'm embarrased to talk to anyone about it. She enjoys it, and I don't, but I can't do anything about it. She is stronger that me and she can force herself on me if she wants. She doesn't punish me all the time and has only started doing it. We've been married for 20 years now and this has just started. She doesn't tell anyone she is doing this, but she tels me she is doing it because she wants me to be more submissive to her when we are with her friends. And if I don't act submissive enough for her she will punish me later that night. She orders me to bend over the back of our couch and pull my pants down and if I refuse she will attack me and choke me until I do it. After i bend over the couch she spanks me hard for a long time before she will get a wooden spoon from the kitchen. The wooden spoon really hurts and leaves welts and bruses on me. I cry in pain as she spanks me, but there is nothing I can do. I have now started to act submissive to her in front of her friends, but she continues to punish me anyway because I think she is really enjoying it and she loves to hear me cry. Any advice for me.

Thanks for the welcome! <br />
<br />
Here's a brief recounting of how my wife and I began our journey in the Disciplinary Wife lifestyle.<br />
<br />
My wife and I had been married over twenty years when she first put a paddle to my bare behind. Our marriage had become rocky and troubled over the years, with lots of arguing and bickering, very little romance and only sporadic sex. And when we did have sex, it was very plain vanilla - <br />
and although we were both sexually considerate of the other, there was certainly very little adventure - and there had never even been a hint of any interest in spanking on her part at all. I, over the years, had occasionally dropped a hint or two of my interest in spanking (having been fascinated by spanking since puberty), but she had never even seemed to notice. <br />
<br />
So, it was one of the Great Surprises of my life when, during a rare moment of candid conversation one evening in which we had shared our secret sexual fantasies, that my wife told me, "You know....I would love to paddle your ***!" This proclamation was immediately followed by instructions to stay put - that she would be right back. She came back a minute later with a ping pong paddle - and the next minute I was lying over her lap getting my bare bottom paddled. And while it was an admittedly mild spanking - especially by her standards today, it was more than what I would have guessed - about thirty whacks that all had some definite sting to them with a few real zingers towards the end - offering a hint of what was to come in the days that followed. <br />
<br />
The events of the following morning continued to leave me somewhat shell shocked - as I really cannot overstate how amazed I was by this turn of events. After we awoke the next morning, took our turns in the bathroom, my wife picked up the ping pong paddle and tapping it on her hand, <br />
said, "We need to discuss you leaving the toilet seat up" (yes, I know that is cliché, but it really is the way it unfolded) - and shortly thereafter I was again lying across her lap getting yet another paddling applied to my bare behind. This one was probably closer to fifty whacks, and the whacks were decidedly a bit more intense than those of the previous evening. This episode was definitely more like a real spanking than the first one. And although it was still mild enough that it did not cause any major discomfort, she did warm my bottom quite well that morning, leaving me with the sense that I had indeed been given a spanking that Saturday morning.<br />
<br />
A bit later, as we were having breakfast, my wife - now in an unusually good mood - started teasing me with the idea that maybe this was just what our marriage needed - that whenever I got out of line, she could just put me over her lap for a good paddling - and that she could probably <br />
get used to that idea. Again, I must say that I was truly astonished that my plain vanilla wife of all these years had paddled my bare rear twice in the past twelve hours, seemed to be enjoying it immensely, and was now teasing me about paddling me regularly to keep me in line.<br />
Since I had fantasized about having a disciplinary wife for years, I immediately encouraged her in this conversation by joking back with her that for the good of our marriage, I would drop my drawers and take it like a man whenever she thought I needed it. And then I went on to tell her, just a bit more seriously, that there were some good web sites for the "disciplinary wife" - and told her about Aunt Kay's Disciplinary Wives Club and another web site that had some good stories about wives that spanked their husbands. Shortly thereafter, she was on the Net reading all about wives that spank - and stayed there for the next three or four hours it seemed. In the meantime, I attended to some various chores and such. When she finally took a break from her research, we went out for a late lunch and had yet another conversation. She had been impressed with what she had read on the DWC site and believed that it would be a good idea for us to try to the Disciplinary Wife lifestyle. She also felt sure that I must feel the same way or that I would not have told her about the DWC site - and that clearly I was ok with the idea of accepting a disciplinary spanking - although she had some concern that I would feel the same way about taking such a paddling once I started getting the kind of "real spankings" as described on the DWC web site. But she did hope that I would be able to accept true disciplinary spankings because she honestly felt that was just what was needed to help our marriage. The way she saw it was that most of our marital bickering came from the fact that I was an arrogant, cocky smartass (and that was at least mostly true) and that having my bare butt well paddled on a regular basis would be just the thing to help me learn some humility. I, of course, agreed to this trial - still completely overwhelmed that this was even happening - as I would never have believed it if you had told me. We talked some more, agreed to some basic rules, and that sort of thing. After lunch, she had me take her to purchase a true wooden hairbrush as she had already figured out from her research that this was an indispensable tool of the trade, and that the ping pong paddle was simply not heavy enough or durable enough to get the job done. We went to a few stores before she found one that was sufficiently large and heavy enough to suit her.<br />
<br />
We arrived home with the brush in the late afternoon. My wife had already told me that she was going to come home and type up our "contract and rules" so there would not be any misunderstandings. When we got home, however, she informed me that before she went to all the trouble to type all that up, that she needed to make sure that I meant business and would be willing to accept a real disciplinary paddling - so I needed to go the bedroom and drop my drawers. We had already agreed at lunch that I was granting her the power to spank me at her sole discretion - even if it was just because she said so - so I went to the bedroom. And, besides, although I was somewhat nervous about getting a "real spanking" with a hairbrush, it was - after all - what I had fantasized about for years. But the first crack of that hard wood brush against my bare *** was nothing like my fantasy - it was like a shock - it hurt - it stung - it burned. Then there were three more in rapid succession - two for each cheek. I yelped, I cussed. I wanted them to stop. But then there were five more sets of four like that - and with each set she increased the intensity just a bit it seemed - the warm-ups that Aunt Kay describes on the DWC site's techniques section. They all hurt, and stung, and burned - but at least I had adjusted to the initial shock enough that the temptation to jump off her lap had diminished - still, she had wrapped her legs around mine to lock me in after the third set - as my legs were kicking and flailing about, and my *** was squirming around all over her lap as the swats grew harder. But <br />
then the sets of four were over, and the real spanking began. She started paddling and didn't stop - she alternated cheeks at times, and then swatted the same spot repeatedly for a few times - painting my bottom a solid crimson. Every whack stung and burned - and soon my *** was <br />
on fire. I yelped and moaned, cussed and begged, kicked and squirmed, and ultimately submitted to the pain, tears flowing, gasping, finally softly sobbing. And finally it was over. I slid off her lap and onto my knees next to the bed, my head resting on her lap, where I found comfort as I dried my eyes and caught my breath. My *** was still on fire and crimson red - there must have been a hundred whacks including the warm-ups. But I still somehow thanked her for helping me to become a better person. She smiled, told me she loved me, and that she was glad that I understood that the spanking was for my own good and that I would become a better man for it. <br />
<br />
A bit later, when it was all said and done, we had a drink and talked some more. The reality had been far different than the fantasy - but now I knew what I had consented to - and it certainly bore little resemblance to the earlier sessions with the ping pong paddle. And, yes, despite just <br />
having experienced the reality of a true disciplinary spanking, I was still ready to have a disciplinary wife who would be regularly paddling my bare behind. My wife, who as far as I would have ever guessed was about as plain vanilla as they came, shared her thoughts with me as well.<br />
<br />
She told me that when we had both managed to open enough last night enough to share some secret thoughts with one another, and that I had shared a fascination with being spanked, she did not want to waste this rare opportunity of openness, and that she was really willing to try almost anything to spice up our love life and improve our marriage of mediocrity - so she had thought "What the hell, let's play....". And, then about half way through that first "play spanking" with the ping pong paddle - she began whacking me hard enough to generate a little sting and I was squirming around just enough that she began to enjoy the sense of power that spanking me was giving her, finding it both emotionally satisfying and sexually stimulating at the same time. She had found herself excited at the prospect of a repeat performance the next morning, and had <br />
completely enjoyed giving me the somewhat more intense spanking the following morning, again experiencing the same type of satisfaction that she had experienced the previous evening. A couple of things happened after both spankings that really reinforced the experience as well. First, the love making that followed was the best in years! Secondly, I had opened up to her in a way that I had not in years - dropped the walls and made myself vulnerable - resulting in an emotional closeness we had not experienced in a very long time. To her surprise and my complete amazement, my wife had found that she was enthusiastic about the idea of assuming the role of the disciplinary wife. <br />
<br />
Once I had survived the test of a real disciplinary spanking, and we had agreed to "sign the contract", I was informed that I would be receiving a daily paddling for the next week as a commitment to our new lifestyle, as well as to emotionally and physically condition me for my new role as a disciplined husband. And so began our new lifestyle, saving us from a marriage of mediocrity.

Yes, hon. tell us your stories. I hope they were sound. if you deserved them. Which I am sure you did. I think Women and Wives in particular are very fair and deliver what is needed, what will make the message sink in and get through.

Thanks for your contribution, A199.

Hi All,<br />
<br />
I think I recognize a few names and scenarios from the XS Orbit F/M spanking discussion board that we lost a couple of years back when XS Orbit went defunct - a real shame - we had made a nice little spot for the F/M online community there - lots of stories archived and active discussion. And Yahoo groups are such a hit and miss and likely to be deleted at any moment. So good to see some discussion here - maybe it will pick up as time goes on. <br />
<br />
I've been a well spanked husband for about eight years or so now. I get a weekly maintenance spanking and punishment spankings (or additional maintenance / attitude adjustment spankings) as she deems necessary - but almost always at least once a week - so I average 2 or 3 paddlings a week - always bare bottom. Most are otk with a hairbrush or paddle - although I sometimes get it in other positions - or get a switching or a strapping. She always spanks me till I am sobbing (even during maintenance) - and then some -as she feels it is good my emotional health to have this release. Most of my paddlings are anywhere from 100 to 200 whacks - sometimes a little less, sometimes more if I am in real trouble. <br />
<br />
Have to close for now with just this brief summary but hopefully we'll see more discussion here.

I love a whippy cane or crop on my butt, but i prefer it in a woman's hand!

I, too, am disciplined by spanking and it does not stop until I cry. I must than "thank" her for the punishment and apologize for whatever misbehavior caused the spanking. It is a very humbling experience but certainly keeps me in line.

Gower, absolutely true! Trust you'll find someone soon.

My first wife would often have me over the end of the bed with two three pillows under me to raise my backside. She would then choose either a riding crop, and swishy cane, or a hairbrush, and make sure that I knew that she had spanked me. Unfortunately she died several years ago, and my second wife won't spank me.<br />
How I miss the spanking, as although it was painful, it really did take all the tensions out of me, and left me very sore, and quite relaxed.

Dean, I think i know what you mean.<br />
My spankings is also very painful, but it is the feelings and doings after that, that is so wonderful! My wife also gives me a spanking if she leaves the city, with words: 'so that you can remember me while I'm away'!

Sometimes i do some cleaning if you know what i mean......Yes it is erotic as well as very painful too...she does lay it on hard..she says it will give me something to think about while she is out

Dean, thanks for answering. Do you get something nice later when she comes back?<br />
Is getting spanked erotic to you.<br />
My wife canes me, but i want more.

its usually 6 strokes....she just tells me to get upstairs to the bedroom

How many strokes does she give and is there any command with it, Dean?

Iam usually punished with either a cane or riding crop just before my wife goes out to meet her lover

Territv, you could not have described it better!

You are all lucky. My wife isnt into spanking so I needed to find a disciplinarian. Yes a good hard bare bottom spanking is such a great thing to help refresh the mind and ease all of the bad tensions and feelings. It also does wonders for my behavior.

BMW, you are hard on your man in your fantasies. With what does he spanks you?

My husband and I share and switch roles in discipline. I often fantasize of taking him to a gymnasium. There strong men bend him over the leather horse and tie him. I watch in comfort as they use a heavy wooden paddle on him. Although only fantasy, I find it very erotic to imagine him being paddled by a strong men...while the group stands around him and enjoy his suffering. I imagine him crying and begging as the strong man punishes him severely with a large heavy wooden paddle.

What delicious thoughts. I am glad that they are only thoughts though.

Cordett, I'm sure you are thankful to her now. It's far more cleaner and heather, or what?

Aside from some playful spanking from time to time, I never had a real disciplinary spanking from my wife unitl she insisted I quit smoking. It took less than a week. The spankings were progressively longer and harder. But, she would not stop. My buttocks were so very black and blue, they hurt so much I truly could not sit down. That last spanking for smoking was too much. I begged her to have mercy but that was not to be. She spanked me harder than ever and I cried. I knelt in front of her and promised to never smoke again. I have kept my promise. I have been spanked since then, but not for smoking and not nearly as severely.

A cane is what I used on william and I didn't tickle him with it either.

My wife usually uses the cane and/or riding crop on me. I also get erotic spankings!

Me too!!

I would love to hear your story JamieW

And now markiee, does she still spanks you and how do you feel?

I received my first adult spanking over my wife's knee on our honeymoon. I told her that if she ever tried that again I'd call the police. She laughed at me and called my bluff telling me to go ahead since she enjoyed herself so much she intended to do it again and again and again whenever she felt like it. She then picked up the phone and called her mother telling her that I was acting very sassy toward her and had to turn me over her knee and give me a spanking. I was so embarrassed. The next morning we were heading down the hotel's hall on our way to breakfast when she told me to stop pouting about last night (in front of our housekeeper) or she will turn me back over her knee for another spanking. I turned 6 shades of red as the housekeeper couldn't hold back a grin from ear to ear as I passed.

Kays, With the disciplinary spanking it is punishment and yes, the actual event is not a treat, but LATER when i feel the results i get so horny and i am proud of myself for taking my punishment.With an erotic spanking it is a total different story! <br />
Do your wife has a spesific spankin ob<x>ject?

My wife has used disciplinary spanking for our entire marriage. I love the idea of spankning, but hate the actual event.<br />
<br />
We participate in the Disciplinary Wives Club and have made friends from there.

Yes Babyhack, it is miserable not to have someone who is able to do it for you. Is there a special way or instrument that you prefer?

the same lifestyle here. my wife caught me wearing her panties when we were first married. she immediately put me over her knee and gave me a very tearful spanking with her hairbrush. then I stood in the corner as she through out all my male underwear. I've been in panties ever since, and over her knee often for misbehavior.

Then i am very lucky. I only have to visit the special room<br />
where my wife spanks me. She decides on the toy/s<br />
and the number cuts, normaly is is 18+ depending on<br />
the reason.

you lucky so and husband knows how i feel about wanting to be spanked, but he just aint "into" the scene. I can only get my fix when I go to UK and visit like minded buddies.

Listen, most men are into this lifestyle. You have to trap your husband into it more or less. Does he know you get spanked when you go to the UK ? You need to take a solid stand. Tell him you want a man who spanks you and if he can't do it then it is damaging your marriage. I have a temporary solution. Myself and my wife are both spankers. We charge $250 per session for spanking. You have a need, and it's something that you have to have for your life. You need to have a serious conversation about it with him. There are dominatrixes all over. Just type in dominatrix and the state you are in and you will find them online. My wife spanks me often and I am greatful for her. I can't tell you what to do, but If you were to spank HIM, he might find that it's better to give than receive. Either way, welcome to the family.

Wives who spank is my wife's site. It's on grouply, whatever that is

I also love being spanked by my wife. It releases my stress. I am married for 30ys+ and for 22ys my wife spanks me, becauce i asked her to do it after i discoverd that it was also erotic. My wife do not take me over her knee. We prefer to use a riding crop and/or a cane. <br />
I would like a lady to tell me how she will administer a good spanking on me.

I have been married for 30 years. For the last 20 I have been spanked by my wife. At first it was when ever I screwed up. Now I am spanked every Saturday night. If I've had a good week, it is an easy over-the-knee spanking with her hand or a hair brush.<br />
<br />
If I have forgotton choirs, made her angry or messed up in some other way, I am spanked naked after ten minutes of corner time. Usually with a leather strap followed by her 18" long paddle.<br />
<br />
Only once I made her so angry (drove home after drinking) she included an enema with a very hard long spanking. I've never done that again.

I started spanking my husband about 8 years ago, and I'm not sure who enjoys it more - him or me. It's always on the bare bottom (althoug it often starts over a pair of panties) with a hairbrush and he truly can't sit comfortably for a while afterwards.<br />
<br />
It sometimes takes 5 or 10 minutes with him over my knee to make my point and bring him fomr the excitement of the pending spanking to the reality that he naked over my lap getting a childish punishment. That always makes him better behaved afterwards and brings us closer together.

In O/our home I enjoy the "spanking" I can tell You for sure william doesn't. Although he is more than plesaed to submit to me. Hard and ofetn brings wonderful results.

My wife spanks too. It started as play and is now very real DD (when, how, and why she wants) and keeps us extremely close.