I Can't Believe The Change!

How do you fall in love with someone ,live with them for 14 years and not know them? Well i did a little research and found out that my husband has a arrogant-vindictive  personality. I realize he was arrogant ,and more so when he went to collage and started working at the collage with people who had degrees like him. He began to put me down and act as  if i wasn't good enough for him. He also would put other people down who he thought was a threat to his superiority. Now i realize his position. he believe that i hurt him and have shone him that i was superior over him in our marriage. So he began to plot to leave the marriage at the most inopportune time,when i wasn't working because i lost my job and went to visit my family all the way across the country. Now he's dating on the Internet, packing his bag and leaving the house on the weekends,he is exercising and lost about, 35-40 pounds, all to vindicate himself because he feels i one upped him when i went on vacation a second time and didn't tell him where and who i went with. He filed for divorce and moved out the house so i didn't feel that i needed to tell him that i was going. when i returned home from my trip the first time i thought we would get our marriage on track so we could get our debt  and our lives together  and live as a couple in love and just have fun. But it seems he had other plans for our marriage or shell i say me. Arrogant vindictive people have a overwhelming need for vindictive triumph,It becomes an entire way of life. the compulsive need for vindication is often accompanied by extreme combativeness, the desire for love is replaced by ambition and a drive toward vindictive triumph. they live for the day of reckoning,when they can prove their superiority and put their enemy to shame, and show how they have been wronged. They dream of becoming great heroes; the persecutor,the leader, the scientist attaining immortal fame' As adults they are ferociously competitive,they cannot tolerate anybody who knows or achieves more. wields more power,or in any way questions their superiority. they have to humiliate of defeat their rivals. They have to retaliate when injured by hurting their enemies more than they have been hurt. ruthless and cynical in their relationships,arrogant-vendictive people seek to exploit and out smart others. They trust no one and are out to get others before they get them. they avoid emotional involvement and dependency,using the relationships of friendship and marriage simply to enhance their social and economic position. wishing to be hard and tough,they regard all manifestation of feeling a sloppy and sentimentality. Since it is important for people  as isolated and as hostile as they not to need others, they develop a pronounced pride in a godlike self-sufficiency. This is my husband to the Tee,I have personally witnessed him retaliate and voice his vindictiveness on others, Things that most people would let go of because we would think it's not that serious he would hold on to till it was time to strike back weeks later. I use to feel like i did something wrong in the marriage but now i see that it was him all along. all the things i have been through he has maybe once apologized for his actions but everything else he blamed me for.

whymyhusbandhatesme whymyhusbandhatesme
46-50, F
Feb 21, 2010