Once Upon A TimeOnce upon a time, I did fall in love with someone from here. It was a very unexpected thing. Started out as a casual friendship, then to best friends, then BOOM, IN LOVE!!!
I knew I had feelings for this guy that were more than just friendship but would have never said anything. He was way younger than I!!! One day he instant messages me and tells me how addictive I am to him, which made me have this huge smile because I felt the exact way, lol. I couldn't even say, YES, I am too. He had to ask me, "Do you feel the same way?" Then he says how we can be addicted to each other which was a great idea to me!!! Everything he would say to me, I already felt in my heart. I just didn't have the nerve to say it to him. So it was HEAVEN to my ears that everything I already felt, he did too.
Funny thing is, now the guy doesn't even speak to me. Actually, it ended up being the most saddest experience of my life!!! I only trusted two people in this world, my brother and him. It was such a great feeling to finally have someone OTHER than my flesh and blood brother that I could trust.
Well, that was then. Now, I only trust my brother. Which is ok, at least I do have my very special brother who I'M SURE GOD PUT IN MY LIFE BECAUSE HE KNEW HOW LET DOWN I WOULD BE BY ALL OTHER MEN......
I'm not a man hater , by far, so please don't think this. It's just that even my dad, step dad and husband would also let me down in big ways. Those relationships should have been good ones but all I got was major heartache, fear and pain!!!
I have only been in love with that one guy from EP. So far, no one else has even come close. I hope to never repeat this, well, at least NOT on EP. I need EP so much. Having PTSD, this is where I have let go of so much pain, sadness that I had held onto all of my life..
OH, one thing I will say about this online affair is that this guy taught me how to open up and express myself. Something which I could NEVER do. So for this, I will always be grateful......
TexasLily 51-55, F 7 Responses 3 Jun 26, 2011