Small Tears...

I'm hoping this purging of my story will allow me to move forward and not dwell in the sadness of what could be been because no one ever could know that!

I met a really nice guy online. We chatted and exchanged numbers quickly (this all happened in a matter of 3 days). We hit it off and so we decided to meet the next day for a date. Our date lasted almost 8 hours. I had such a great time and so did he. Well,  we were talkin on the phone the next day and had an argument over a misunderstanding and big *** ball of confusion... Things spiraled quickly out of control and this morning he gave me the old heave-ho... kiss-off... we can still be friends bullshit... !!!

I'm not even sure he's the "one"- or a guy I would interested in pursuing a relationship with but I was sure ready to find out... but I cried all night, barely slept, and find my eyes filling up with tears when I least expect it. I'm not even sure why I'm sad and crying... I can't be too broken up over a guy I just met 3 days ago. How can I be heart broken over a guy I barely even knew, about a relationship that never was? I think I'm sadden by the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life because something must be awfully wrong with me because I can even make it to day number 4...  

It would be so much easier to hate that guy! I wish I could hate him, but there's nothing to hate... It was a stupid thing, that went out of control. I feel like if I could just talk to him we could talk it out because it's really quite silly, but he's made his wishes clear and I'm gonna respect them. Truthfully, I don't want any man I have to beg back, and beg to talk to me. I feel like such an idiot!

I'm crying as I write this. I wish the tears would stop coming. I wish things could of ended differently on the phone last night. I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I never met him. I wish I could get over it already. I wish... I wish... I wish I didn't have to do this dating BS anymore...

Where is my happily ever after???

aniave aniave
31-35, F
Feb 22, 2010