Roy Was His Name!

Is it possible that God is really on his way back to take back what he let the devil control for years?I will start by saying that i'm a black male going on 21,I was molested as a child at the ages of 6,and 7...before my dad left when i was 5 i believe i knew who I was at then as an infant little child,with my dad staying in my life though living in single parent household with my half brother in South Los Angeles.Being molested scared me and indeed devistated me inside and out ultimately confusing me and my soul I got lost and misguided cause i forgot who i was and trying to fit in,I used to go to church as a child but I found out that theres alot of wrong in churches hypocrytes soo I'd felt more comfortible if i had my own personal relationship with The Lord,and God almighty spirtualy,but there was a couple of times in my life when i got older that i actually stop believing God and evertime i did he'd show me how real he is and show me I've always had faith in him jsut to blind to see it,and for many years i've delt with depression,suicidal thoughts and anything related.I was always trying to feel accepted and trying to fit in somewhere I didn't belong.And it was when i got my first Tattoo at 19 God threw me in hell to test my faith,my tattoo is of a cross with an single eye in the middle of the cross,in the upper right hand are project buildings,the upper left is rolling dice money and a(n)[billiards]8-ball,the lower left side and lower right side of the cross are the laugh now cry later faces,so god test me because he knows i'm lost and throws me in the depths of hell,I went to this place in Virgina which was a trade school,I basically went there F*****g around for 9 months i treated it like a vaction little did i know while i was in there I would lose myself and get into drugs trying to fit in and or cope with the my problems but instead eveything would back fire on me,I while i was in there,my manhood was tested and literally almost got the best of me...Am i gay,no far from it but i still don't have a problem with them and growing up being around moms most of the time and being molested and a virgo i think took a toll on me with being a sex addict and lusting and an affectionate person,It wasn't till I went to job corps where we have male and female dorms I never been surrounded by so many homosexuals of both genders,in my time there the thought of being bi-curious set in about 5 times i'm glad to say i never went through with the plan but I've noticed it's different when on drugs,for 9 months in job corps i've clouded my mind and imprisoned it with poisons like weed and liquor made me see the tre deminsion of the world and what world we really live in,so with the thought of being bi-curious,i actually though for a minute that i was straight bi which mean i would be considered with this on my mind and being on drugs I see the dark creases the devil has built on this land magically and i see his demons all around mocking me,pointing at me and laughing and i can hear them say "join us"they call me gay and think I am because i was hyptnotized at some point and became possesed by the though while on drugs did not help just made it worse,I would graduate job corps around summer break,move back to L.A. on Tupac Shakur's birthday!and still continue to live life like i was in job corps just made it more dangerous,scary and interesting I see God telling me I was losing total control losing grasp.But he felt that i would make the right decicion before the end as i'm still doing all the bad habits after job corps i see more of the devils demons pointing and laughing,some just stare and don't say anything,don't even blink,under the influence being intoxicated for some reason I gave the impression to people that i'm gay knowing that i am not how'd they get convinced and are the devils demons trying to convince me to give it up quit and surrender to satan,so the more lost I got mixed with the more I though about things and the truth i found out about the world and life I finally met him at my old friends mother house,the demons there set me up to meet him! the demonds were drinking and laughing it up shared a couple of blunts and thats when he arrived,on his motorcycle wearing his motorgang jacket with tatts and peircings,his name was roy!and he say's to me witout moving his mouth "I got You"later a demon invited his homosexual friend thinking i would hit on him or to test if i was really gay or not,In a clear state of mind i'm no where near turned on by the same sex and god knows that but put me through a scare tactics,I'd see my death and feel death around me at times and experianced dejavu and been through twighlight going on 21 I'll be doing alot of soul searching and reading of the bible getting a relationship more than ever staying on great terms with him,hope ya'll do the same and i hope you guys don't need to meet the devil just to get a wake up call..god bless!Thank you

Redemptionsoul Redemptionsoul
2 Responses Jul 27, 2010

Oh and its not necessarily wrong to be gay or bi-curious. Just be what you feel you should. We all sculpt ourselves consciously and subconsciously, we become what we will ourselves to be...

I respect you for not giving up. If there's one thing Satan knows best, its mind games and ways to break us subjectively. It seems to me you've been sucked into a place he prepared just for you... <br />
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Stay strong my friend. An analogy of a packmule comes to mind: Mules seem like insignificant creatures, but in truth they are precious. They never give up. They're stubbourn and determined. As long as they have breath in their lungs they keep going. And for this reason, they've always been entrusted with precious cargo...<br />
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Perhaps God has given you his gold to carry. It's a heavy burden, but if you just keep going and never give up, the result will amaze you. God Bless...