I feel guilty sometimes, and don't understand why I am the way that I am. I love my family and friends, and have interests, but NOTHING makes me feel as good as being in a great romantic relationship. Nothing makes me feel as happy, as fulfilled. When I'm not in a relationship, I feel sad. I don't mean all of the time, but a lot. I love the closeness that I feel when I'm in a physical and emotionally intimate relationship, and nothing compares. I become stronger, able to withstand anything (except my relationship ending). Unfortunately, I don't think that most people are like that. It doesn't seem like most people are. Everybody seems to want change, thrills, newness. I don't.

I like fun and excitement, but changing partners is not fun or exciting for me. I want to have fun with the same person. Why is that wrong or weird? When I find what I like, I want lots of it, for a long time. I need someone who thinks like I do, who understands that it is a waste of time and energy to invest in a relationship and person, only to throw it away, and start over again and again with new people. I want to meet a man that I can build a life with, someone who wants to build a life with me... We can have fun and find excitement together.

I can't help it. I just feel so frigging lonely sometimes. I have people to talk to, and it helps, but I want a man to be in a relationship with me, a real partnership. When it's good, it feels amazing. I am a little afraid of being hurt, of being abandoned, but my love thirst always conquers my fears! :) Love is like the best (&worst) drug I've ever taken. It takes me to my highest heights, and my lowest depths. Either way, I just can't get enough. Love junkie or glutton for punishment? I don't know.

Done ranting now. Thanks for reading :)
moonchile moonchile
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 19, 2014

Ohhh, you hit the nail on the head! This describes me too! You'll find someone though, because there is someone out there for everyone!

At least I'm not alone in feeling the way that I feel :) Thanks!