Ever got to the point where you are sick of your life as it has been? You probably do if you have ever been frustrated by your situation or position in life.
Between the **** that people give you and the **** I created on my own, I just have been feeling that I want to somehow get clean.
I wish that I could do it in the religious sense through faith in God and Christ, but I've never have made the grade. I always seem to get screwed or screw up somehow or someway.
There's an old saying that goes "everywhere you go,you take yourself". Well there are somethings I love about myself and somethings I hate. I know I can not run away from who I have been or what experiences I have had. I know that where I am at the present is not what I want for my future. I have hope that the future will be brighter ,but I know that there are outside factors which have their own inertia against what I desire.
I have been running on this schedule for so long in my life that I feel that if I do not do something dramatic to turn things around the rest of my years of existence will bare extreme pain and sorrow. What good will life be then?
Perhaps you see this as a bleak and negative perspective, but that is my today-and it is reality. The past you remember but it is already gone whether your times were good or bad. The future you can not predict,nor is there a guarantee on it or anything else in this life.
At this point I really want to create a completely new identity. How I will accomplish it is left to be seen. Part of it has to do with coming to terms with who you are based on the past and present. That can be hard because you may not like what you see,yet at the same time it is with the memory of better times I have enjoyed with family and friends... not everyone can say that. That fact does not lend me comfort for myself or for the similar experiences others endure. In essence it means grabbing a psychological hold on ones self and focusing with determination on the goal of rebirth from a psychological/spiritual perspective.
Second comes the legwork- the physical part of it . Building a fr
Last but not least is making sure you have a well laid out plan on who you will be from now on physical location wise, character wise, educational level,financially... everything laid out. I think anyone who is determined can achieve it,but in these days after 9/11 you got to know what you are doing.