A Chance to Change My Life!

I was given a road to follow and I jumped on it with both feet!  My daughter, the one in the Army, as I said has decided to try and claim me as a dependent.  No undercover back stabbing sneaky lies this time, and I am very enthusiastic at the prospect of being able to FINALLY get out of this city and start fresh elsewhere.  I have an old Army buddy of 30 years who just happens to live where I want to go.  If all goes well she will extend a helping hand and assist me with the information that I am asking and perhaps even help me to get established.  I qualify for special needs housing since I am a disabled veteran and I will put in an application for housing assistance.  I know that the waiting lists are painfully long and I will have to stay somewhere until a unit becomes available to me and that is the problem.  I can't even remotely afford to move anywhere let alone to another state SO, I am hoping that the benefits of being an Army dependent means moving expenses will be covered.  My daughter does not want me in the same city that she's in and I believe it is because of her deceit initially towards me and she's embarrassed   that her peers would see it is not as she said.  I don't care too much for that as long as I can get the medical attention that I need and if I have to go to where she is for it then I will go and she will just have to deal with it.  I told her that she will only be as close to me as she allowed herself to be.   The application decision takes from two weeks to thirty days.  Meantime, I can't really do much of anything except make plans "just in case" I am approved.  Last time she tried to claim me she didn't bother to mention that she didn't want me there UNLESS I was a dependent and consequently I gave away everything and when I was denied I had nothing but her cold callousness when she let ME in on the facts and an empty house. So this time until I am approved I do nothing and if I am approved I do what I do independent of her.  I really just want to get out of this city!  There is so much animosity here from people that I don't even know who my oldest daughter told lies to about me to garnish sympathy as she proceeded to bleed them dry as much as she could not even caring what she was creating against me in the process.  Here I am going to peoples houses smiling at them and she's already told them a passel of lies that have them thinking I am the worst mother in the world.  They are as two faced and false as she is.  Drugs fried her brain and she has no sense of right and wrong on most things.  The humiliation I have endured because of that girl!   Now that she's turned my two oldest grandkids against me there isn't even a  point of my even trying to have a relationship with them.   I quit.  All I want now is to try to live at least 10 or 20 more years if I don't go blind from the glaucoma or freeze up from the rheumatoid arthritis and one way to do that is to get  away from the stresses of having to deal with ungrateful, resentful, hateful, spiteful, supposed to be adult children.  When they do not have access to me and have trouble THAT'S when they consider me useful and seek me out.  I'm tired of living my life at their beck and call.  I want to live my life for me!  I am almost 50 years old and I have no friends, no family, and no relationship.  It's all by choice but none the less it doesn't have to be that way now as my children no longer need the protection I gave them .  NOW--being able to leave and start fresh has given me a new  lease on life and I am looking forward to the future with happy thoughts and the prospect of making friends without baggage from living under my oldest daughters shadow.  Being around a military genre is also pleasing to me.  I enlisted when I was 17 so I pretty much grew up in the service and I don't feel as though I belong in any other environment.  I definitely  do not belong in this city!  I've said that from the beginning.  I stupidly came back here not once but twice after leaving because that same said oldest daughter called me crying that she couldn't handle having three children by herself.  So I gave up what I had established and rushed to the rescue.  See what my thanks is for doing that?   She singled handedly destroyed my concept of mothering!  I can't seem to get away from the unpleasantness that I have experienced here at the hands of my children.  I need to make some better memories and positive experiences to share and as long as I live in this city and have ties and communication with them I will always have a miserable history.  The daughter in the Army doesn't bother me because she doesn't have to.  She is the ONE child that listened to me and made a choice that gave her career security and a proper path towards a successful future.  The other two were stubborn and have nothing but troubles and hard times.  Both resorted to drug use.  I had to MAKE my son get his GED at 17.  He fought me on it too but he finally got it.  My oldest daughter refused to listen and didn't get hers until she was 29 years old. 29!!  How silly can a person be?  She'd hit rock bottom and lost everything including her kids before she consented to get it.  This girl actually quit a good job, making good money, getting overtime hours everyday, because they told her she had to take a drug test after she'd worked there for two weeks.  She quit!!  I didn't know she was still doping until her Aunt the tyrant told me.  I was told the lie that she didn't like working with the people there.  Look. There I go again.  Back to my children and problems they caused.  I think I'm going to stop now.
Comprehensive2 Comprehensive2
1 Response Aug 22, 2007

Teenaged daughters are a heavy burden to bear. My middle child was looking for attention and told crazy stories to anyone who would listen. Many were people I thought were my friends. I couldn't believe they could <br />
give her tales any crediblity at all- some made no sense at all. Now I wish I could move far away, because when I bump into people that used to be friends or aquaintances, I feel like they are looking for my horns and pointed tail. I would have to be quite an ogre to do the things she told them- and they would have to be complete idiots to buy it- but it doesn't make it any easier. Now I am very leary of making friends or going to church since I have been so badly burned. I wish I could just move somewhere and starte completely over.