Just Too Many Coincidences...


When I was smaller, my mum got the notion into her head that there was something wrong with me. I didn't find this especially flattering, but the emotional implications of this are for a different topic. She was always on the look-out for some sign of a disability.

First she got me tested for Dyslexia, apparently this was due to my terrible handwriting and spelling, I didn’t have dyslexia, and with a little tutoring my handwriting was no longer a problem (to this day my spelling has never been very good, i spelled parent "pearent" until I was 15)

Second thing I remember getting tested was my ears, I ignored my mum occasionally, simply because I found the noises of the birds and rustling leaves more interesting, and she took this to mean I must be deaf. After testing it turned out i had well above average hearing. (I still do, I’m 20 and I can still hear up to 18500 Hz, which unfortunately means i can hear the mosquito noise loud and clear)

Finally, in early secondary school (equivalent to late middle school for any Americans present), she decided I had aspergers. So she went to the school's special needs co-ordinator, and asked him to arrange to have me tested for aspergers. This was a mistake on her part, because this man was not only useless at his job, but didn’t even bother trying to set up a test for me, meaning my mum FINALLY gave up her obsession, but, though she doesn’t say it anymore, she never stopped believing I had aspergers.

To the Point:

As i already said, my mum believed I had aspergers, and it seems she got some second opinions, not only did the special needs co-ordinator agree with her (though he couldn't be asked to do anything about it), so did many of my primary school teachers (who my mum kept in touch with since my sister was still in primary school). It seems the only people who DIDNT believe her were me and my friends.

However, my mother's refusal to drop this latest theory kept bugging me, then recently I was reminded of apsergers syndrome by a friend. And I couldn’t resist doing what I used to, researching the symptoms online and disproving to my-self, one more time, that I didn’t have it. However, this time, I found it a lot harder to do so. Almost every symptom seemed to fit.

-I don’t like social situations with more than 1 other person, I feel restricted and tend to just stop talking
-I never seem to know what anyone else is feeling, I can get happy or angry, but anything more complicated is just guesswork
-When I am truly interested by something, it’s not enough to get a rough idea, I have to know everything, so I will research silly things like Nuclear Fusion until I know the current progress of every existing project, including power input to output ratios, how each fusion reactor works, etc, or if I find a book I like, I cant just simply that book, I read have to every book in the series, in order.
-I never like to leave the house without a ridged plan for what I am going to do until I get back (and how I will travel)
-I rehearse in my head, any situation that might possibly arise, from what I am going to say, to body language, to where I will look, or what emotions I should be showing, these scenarios range from saying hello to a friend to what I would say to a paramedic after a crash, or how to talk someone out of a suicide attempt.
-I hate catching someone's eye, something about having someone looking directly into my eyes just makes me uncomfortable and makes me want to look away
-I am often the last to understand a joke, and sometimes even need it explained
-when on  a 1 to 1 basis I often find myself going into pre-prepared speeches, or just rambling on without giving the other person time to speak

almost every symptom I come across at least seems familiar if not describes me directly, I don’t want to believe I have this, since it would be admitting my mother’s obsession was right, but after a while the coincidences start to mount up.

djpanda djpanda
18-21, M
1 Response Aug 9, 2010

you really think i have aspergers? i can be quite outgoing and be quite charming if i try.. apparently something aspies are bad at..