He Said He Hates His Father

I wish I'd known this before I invited the man to my sons bon vayage dinner next weekend.  It was supposed to be a surprise gathering and because his father had taken him in unexpectedly and helped him find a job I thought things were goo between them and I didn't know otherwise until I asked my son something about his dad and he responded with angry vehemence.  I had to leave out but it was on my mind and I had asked the father if he would come to this SURPRISE dinner.  When I returned I hadda ask my son how he felt about his dad and it was messed up so I went ahead and told him about the dinner that I had planned for his bon voyage and I told him if he didn't want his father here I'd respect that and I would cancel the invite.  We BOTH know that his father is coming to see me and not to see his son off on the new leg of his life.  I told my son to think about it and let me know and eventually he decided that he'd let his father come regardless.  I think in his inner most wants he would like for his dad to be here inspite of his true motivations because the man has been an absent father all of my sons 20 years.  There is no such thing as his parents being in the same room.  When my son was younger I tolerated the ever so often visitations although the motivation was the same, no man is gonna come for child visitation at 2 in the morning, but as my boy got older I didn't have to put up with that kind of mess and when I stopped his father stopped and I mean literally.  If I wasn't included in the deal he didn't come see his child.  It's possible that my son will change his mind again.  I haven't given his father my living address so he doesn't know where to come to and I am debatng giving that man any kind of access to me even for my son.  I wish I could have a public forum but my son wants his mother's cookin and not some restaurant.  We still have some things to work out before everything is set in stone so I will ask him again what he wants.

Comprehensive2 Comprehensive2
Mar 28, 2009