My Miscarriage

It is hard for me to remember the day but it's still stuck in my memory as clear as seeing myself type this.
It was July 5th, 2010 and I was already late two weeks. I kept telling myself my period is just late there is no need to panic. I started spotting on July 4th and thought everything was okay.
July 5th was a Monday and that meant the weekly outing with my dad and my siblings. I was sitting on the couch, waiting for my father to pick my sister and I up.Then the pain started.
I started to have severe pain and I tried not to cry. I even started to feel dizzy. After getting the courage to get up and go to the restroom my sister started to notice I wasn't okay but I convinced her otherwise.
I went to the restroom and there it was. I kept bleeding and the physical pain continued for days. My ex took me to the doctors and they insisted on doing another pregnancy test for "just in case" situations.
My nights were filled with nightmares. The most requiring one was me sitting up on a hospital bed and a nurse hands me my new born baby. I felt so happy and the infant was in my arms and the next thing you now the baby would disappear from my arms and I would be all alone in a dark room.
For the people I confided in they told me things happen for a reason and that there will be the time when I will become a mom.
It's been almost been almost two years and half since it happened and it still hurts. I still have nightmares but not as constant. I envy the women who have kids and I wish that each time a woman miscarries that I could be with her and tell her she is not alone and there is still time to become a mom.
tigerlily4 tigerlily4
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 8, 2012

Very sorry to hear about your loss. Unfortunately you will always have it in back of my mind. My niece had the same issue and it hurt her bad. It is nice that you have good parents. I hope you talk with your mother.god bless girl. You are an inspiration to others.

i'm sorry that happened to you. everything does happen for a reason.