He's Only Gone For Three Months

My boyfriend is in the marines. And this is the second summer he's gone for training. he left last summer in may. when he graduated i flew out to see him. i just finished my senior year of highschool and he's just left this past sunday for another summer in training. i know there are families out there who have it so much harder, with a marine father gone for years. and my small three months problem seems nothing. i'm just having trouble with it. im really in love with him, and im ready to start a life with him. we've been off and on for the past 5 years. this next fall i'm going away to college 5 hours from the town we both live in. i'm struggling with how i feel. i love him, but i miss him so  much. right now he is just in the reserve...but might decide to go active. i'm barley handling it with the three months...i don't know how id ever cope without him for longer. he calls everynight but i feel like he's distracted. i know i should be understanding...he has a lot on his mind...but i have alot on my mind too. and i just don't really know what to do, and how to cope in a healthy way. i miss him everyday and every minute. i need advice on how to be strong and to be there for him when he needs me.

usmcgirlfriend09 usmcgirlfriend09
1 Response Jun 20, 2009

My best friend's husband was gone for 4 months with training (he was reserves) and I lived with her. These are the things I have learned.<br />
Stay busy.<br />
Do things with your friends, clean, be productive. Time will fly by. If you have a real issue with him, wait until he comes home to address it. 15minute phone calls aren't the time or the place. Write him letters to tell him about how you feel about him or daily happenings.<br />
Don't read too much into him distancing himself. He is there to learn. He may be overwhelmed by everything. Also, what I've noticed while they're away around other soldiers is that their mentality is different, they can't BE mushy gushy because they will get flak for it. <br />
Also, I have heard to be there for him, only really tell him the good things and assure him of your love for him and of your support for him. Think of it in reverse, while he is gone, he's surrounded by duty, work, and men. While he's gone, you're surrounded by what he could view as several opportunities to lose you to male friends or acquaintances because you're lonely. (this is where being careful who's shoulder you cry on comes in)<br />
Also, on another note ..decide what you want. In life. In general. And if you're the type of person that's ok with waiting around for him to finish his commitment to the Marines. Decide if you want freedom, what that feels like, looks like, etc. You said you have been with him for 5 years, do you still feel like he's the one? Are you feeling anxious to play the field? Know how you're feeling and get a handle on it before he goes off on something a little more important, like a combat deployment or something where your relationship will really be tested. It's not fair to send him a dear john letter when he should be completely focused on his duty and not getting shot. I think after being with him for 5 years, you pretty much know what you want, but going to college, for some, can change things drastically. Just keep that in mind. On the other hand though, if you are committed to making something work, 5 hours won't stop you, especially after having him gone for 3 mos.