An Hour Before Noon

As I was flipping through the television channels I turned from The View to The PRICE is RIGHT. I remembered when that show gave me the feeling of writing ecstatically in all caps. Now when I passed by and check into the show I feel barren in my heart. Drew Carey . . .he is good. Great on Who's Line Is It Anyway . . . fair on Improvaganza. But Bob Barker . . . he was The Price is Right. While the desolated feeling moistens my skin, I'm choked by memories as nostalgia coats my tongue. The hologram initiate . . .I'm in my home. The one with the expansive field of flowers and fruit trees, and evergreens, and a quaint little lake with a quaint little cabin, and paths that weeped and illuminated such peace that surely only celestial things could exsist there.This was the only home I knew. My family had lived there for a decade before I was even thought about. This house had became the village for branches of our tree. But something that took decades to build easily crumbled in not quite a handful of years . This after is after my mother is diagnosed with Crohn's disease, I'm diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes (I was 12 and at a normal weight), my sister was almost blotted out of this world after a violent replusive less than a human psychotic sexual deviant was release from prison (she had to have three years worth of care and surgery). Also after my mother lost . . .well was swindled of her lucrative head chef job after the woman who's business she helped build sold the business behind her back and lastly and most importantly (but know I could write a story with our misfortunes). My world crumbled completely after man who was a type of father denouced me . . . us took all the money literally like a theft in the night and left. He couldn't be a man enough, decent enough to tell his family he hadn't paid a bill in almost a year AND he had filled bankruptcy. They took EVERYTHING within two days. Loved ones chipped in and set us up the best they could. We moved into a lavish slum on January 1, 2007. I cried for days. Then one morning sometime after 11:00 I was fished by Bob Barker's voice and stark white hair. I thought back about how my grandmother would take care of me while my mother was at work, off early in the morning. We would drink our coffee (I started at 3), "read" our newspaper, and then sit and watch TPIR. I even remember the commercials, Colonial Penn life insurance, The clapper, Cha Cha Cha Chia Pets! And Bob would end the show with the candor only he had "And don't forget to get your pets spayed and neutered!". From hearing his voice I was able to look at my life and realized I still had most of what is really important to me . . . that is more than many have. I could watch Bob Barker on The Price is Right and forget I couldn't go to prom, or on my senior trip, or not being able to pay to get my graduation pictures. I could still dream! But before he finished giving me therapy, before I could fulfill a literal life long dream of being on The Price is Right standing alongside of him, Bob Barker left TPIR. I know he felt it was time and so I could never be mad at him (because he knows and cares all about my feelings :] ). But I MISS YOU BOB :,{ I don't watch The Price is Right anymore . . . it isn't the same and though this life rut isn't due to him or the show. TPIR is just a reminder that everything is different and of dreams I will never reach.