I Miss Her Terribly
She's perfect. When I met her, I knew she was a sweet girl but didn't think much of it until I got to know her. She's the definition of a soulmate, if you believe such a thing exists. We share so much, we're so incredibly alike and yet we perfectly complement each other in nearly every facet of life. I've become her closest friend, and she's become mine. She never misses an opportunity to tell me how important and how close I am to her, and I try to do the same. And despite all of this, I'll never be able to have her.
She's Muslim, I'm Hindu, the societal restrictions on such a relationship make this nearly impossible. My family has always been open minded, but this is still something I'm not sure they'd quite be able to handle, and I understand why. Her family will likely be the same. I think even she feels this is unfortunate somewhat, yet I know she's very religious and probably wouldn't even do it herself, despite having some form of love for me as well. Yet, I can't help loving her. Nearly every little thing that happens in daily life reminds me of her, and her happiness is pretty much the only thing that ever matters to me these days. I wait for the opportunity to talk to her, I'm very good at making her happy (and she's excellent at it for me), but I've always been very respectful of our friendship and never showed any indication that I'd ever want to take it further than that.
She's getting married. And I'm incredibly happy for her. She's my best friend, and she's excited, so how can I not be happy? Her parents found her a potential husband, who she really loves. He's well established but lives on the other side of the country. They're very happy together, after getting engaged they couldn't be more excited for their wedding. She asked me to speak at their wedding, and I'm really honored to have that opportunity, albeit I'm also a little scared. I love her more than anything, and her happiness is most important, but I'll miss her beyond belief. She graduated from school while I'm still here, she left for a month for her big engagement ceremony, only recently came back. I met her fiance for the first time yesterday, and I know he' s a wonderful guy.
But despite all of this, my heart is hurting more than ever, because I miss her, and I don't really know what to do. She really completes me, she's my other half. I'm sure I'll eventually find someone to fill this void for myself, but it won't be her, and that really saddens me, because every day I think about the beautiful relationship we undoubtedly would have had if certain restrictions not been in the way. We share so many of the same interests, I taught her piano, I love spending time with her. Anyone will tell you that we're perfect companions for each other. We really are the best of friends, and that makes me so happy, because I know I've made the most of what I can have.
My biggest worry is that I'll miss her every day for the rest of my life. When she's nearly 3000 miles away, I think that's inevitable. I'm also afraid that I'll one day stop missing her (it's a real dilemma), because I've never had such a close friend that I can talk to about anything, and I never want to lose her.
