My One True Love... I Miss Her

Well I met this girl a few years back. Her boyfriend who she was with for a couple years before broke up with her. I helped her through it and she helped me with a lot of my problems I had and we started becoming best friends. We knew we had more than just a friend relationship from the beginning because the first few days we started to get to know eachother she held my hand. We had a whole summer together and it was the best time of my life, I couldnt have been happier. We started to go out places almost every day together, the movies, the mall, just around the neighborhood. Over that few months we fell in love with eachother, she was the only one for me I knew it in my heart. I never loved anything as much as i loved her and i still dont. As much as I did love her I didnt ask her out because she was the best friend I've ever had and I didnt want to lose all that if one day our relationship ended. It was all my fault, I never asked her so she got with a couple guys the following months. Our emotions were so powerful for eachother that she had cheated on them with me. The relationships with them didnt last more than a month because it just didnt work between them and i still didnt ask her out. Now shes been with this one guy for 2 years and its a really serious relationship but on the 5th day of that relationship we kissed and we've been kissing for the past 2 years. Although I am a jealous guy I can stand being around them because I also still am her best friend, the one who helps her out with her problems. We have more love for eachother than anyone possible but we never have time to see eachother alone or anything. I wont go into detail but we got caught together by her parents and now they hate me and she isnt allowed to be around me at all and all the free time she has she spends it with her boyfriend. I cant see her any time except an hour or so in the mornings monday through friday. We both want to be with eachother so bad but she has been attached to her current boyfriend so much its too hard for her to just leave him like that. Our time together seems to grow shorter and shorter every day and its really killing me inside. I used to be the happiest boy on the planet and now I'm a depressed shadow wandering the streets. I cant eat or sleep my mind is always on her and it hurts because every time I think about her I know I cant be there for her because its all my fault. To this day I still regret not asking her out she is the greatest thing to have ever happen to me. I think her boyfriend dosent know what he really has because he hasnt (yet) lost her. They've become close to breaking up a few times and even in those times I put aside my selfish thoughts of wanting her for me and helped her as a best friend should. I dont regret doing that. She is everything I've ever wanted and more I pray every night for her safety and health and hope that one day we will be united as one. I found this website by typing in "I miss her" in google. I thought this would somewhat help me if someone replied and helped or talked about this with me. Now its winter break thats two weeks out of school but I see it as two weeks away from my one true love. I miss her so much it hurts, its teaing me apart inside and its only this first day! This is my story. I love her.

one33 one33
18-21, M
2 Responses Dec 19, 2009

LOL<br />
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Kid find a girl that isnt attached and stop feeding her endless need for validation<br />
<br />
she doesnt love you,. Suck it up and get over it

Well, at the risk of soundling like your mother, you are young, and might just be punishing yourself. by not telling her how you really feel. Prbably for fear of loosing her completely. I don't know , just trying to figure ut what could be the cause and what is really going on here. :) Have you tried to date other girls? Or to move in another direction away from being right there... what about being late for that morning meeting? Does she know how you feel, or how strong your feelings are for her? it sound sorta like she has moved on in another direction... from what you have said.It's hard to tell with just the facts you have laid out. :) All the Best M.