Crying In My Spaghetti Dinner.

Everyday I wake up I think to myself. Im alright. I can move on. I am FINE. Ive been that way for a couple of weeks now. But today for some reason I started crying when a song came on on my cd I just made. Then I was ok again. Its been like this all day. I keep thinking about him and I cant stop crying. So I was just about to log out of facebook when he posts that he is headed to a concert and tagged this girl in it. It hurtsssss sooooo bad. He thinks that everything is fine when its not. He thinks we can remain friends and everything will be ok. Well why is it soooo hard for me. I feel guilty having feelings for other guys. I want to move on. I thought I had. but today changed all that. I wish on stars that he will realize he was an idiot and want to make this work with us. I still wear my "wish necklace", its a necklace that has 6 small silver rings on it and I made wishes on all of them and one of them was for him, hoping that all my wishes will come true. I still wear it and i never take it off. I finally just deleted all of his texts the other day. I was fine with that but now Im regretting it. I wish I could move on. I keep lying to everyone and telling them im over it. and that it doesnt bother me if i see or hear his name anywhere. but it kills me it really does. I miss him so much. He commented on my status about a song he remembered I hated. He "liked" my pic the other night too. and none of that bothered me. but now it all does. I realized today that Ive been lying to myself about being over him. It still hurts soooooo bad.
26-30, F
1 Response Jun 3, 2012

yeah we all go through that phase.<br />
in this time its best to talk to someone around you someone close.<br />
dont let it go out of hand like i did. i lost sleep over it, i was starting to realise it effecting my job and health. but luckily people around me gave me a hand, and pulling me out of it. <br />
this havent happened not along ago actually im still over it now but im much better now...<br />
if u ever want to talk, email, message me and i promise ill try my to draw a map to that smile that you've lost.