I Wonder...

It seems like the pain will never go away some days. I start thinking then my heart starts feeling and pretty soon my whole body feels it. Can't do anything about it, or say anything. Living with emotional pain you can do nothing about. Waiting, its like my life is just a waiting room. I wonder if I'm a woman who lost her husband and am going to die soon of loneliness. I wonder if I've lost my true love and I am just going to settle for whats in front of me some day then live the rest of my life unhappy. I wonder if I will ever find equal passionate caring love. I wonder if there is only one person meant for me. This big gaping hole in me is missing and I wonder if its me or if its him. No one seems to make me as happy. After years whats it going to take.
oneday9 oneday9
22-25, F
2 Responses Apr 15, 2012

I am also going through something of the same .Been with my love for 25 years and more content me two children one of each boys in collage daughter working still running them around taxi dad.When my daughter was about 17 she took a total dislike to her mum and still to this day.Wife took up dancing as a release i went once didn't like it besides i am shorter than my wife and got the feeling this was for her.Time goes on always things to get on with at home dog to walk play badminton with a friend .My wife did ask several times would i like to go along but i just didn't get the frill like i see her getting when she's dancing she looks great being spun around in her lovely dress.I went there for new year and i just did free style had a great time spoke to a chap there he said about me learning to dace i said na it's not for me but my wife she love's it,he said you could lose her you know.
2013 i new this was going to be a bad year daughter no better no respect for her mum or us no per lightness .Wife says enough is enough told me she is not in love with me anymore loves me we haven't got the same interests and that we have drifted apart for the last couple of years i think i saw it coming her dancing two times a week always on facebook building a good social life.All of a sudden i feel along. sleeping in different beds can't sleep
stomach tied in knots brain going ten to the dozen it's been a week or so now still went to work night duty.Read my stars today the word is" WHAT IF "not "IF ONLY " so what if i go out with my mate from badminton and have a chat and what if i say to myself i am going to stand strong with the children

when i remember my love i come to apoint of madness,especialy when i look to the pictures ; all sweet memories i compare whith the ugly present moment. iam yeling for my first time in all history battels iam declaring my retreat and withdrowal.