Its been well over a month. And the pain is there every day. I see him everywhere I go. I hear his voice echoing in my head. His love still runs through my veins. I am deeply saddened by this. I have never been this hurt, sad, alone, and most of all scared. We still comunicate through texting, it is mostly filled with stupid immature talk. That we both engage in. I thought I saw him, walking up to me. With that look in his eyes that always made me so weak. He has no idea how hard this has been on me. I act like I am fine. I pretend that I am acheiving greatest things. I do not think I will ever be ridden of this pain. Do I want to? I do not want to let him. I will not!! His love was what i pushed away for almost a year. I pushed and pushed until he finally gave up. I do not blame him for giving up. I am quite a disaster. I say stupid things, they ahve no real meaning. Just words that should have never came from my lips! I have hurt him time and time again. I never thought he would leave. I took advantage of the thought that I had him forever. I do not! He left! He no longer loves me. I can tell trhough the texts. I will play this game with him. I will play because it is they only we have contact. To belittle and hurt one another now. With what was filled with such happiness and tranquility has been replaced with doubt and uncertaintity. He believes I ahve moved on. I made him believe that. I know he has. He tries to tell me he hasn't. But I know. I hate imagining another touching my perfect body, kissing my perfect face, screaming with delight. I am lost without him. he is my soulmate. I miss you. Soo soo much! I wish you would come back to me...where you belong!
deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Aug 16, 2014

I know how u feel :( same here i wish he will comeback