I Miss Him Everyday.

I met him online when I was 19.  I was young and very naive, yet I was very wary of him.  I've always closely guarded my feelings and rarely made them known to anyone.  However, there was just something about him that made me fall for him.  And, boy did I fall hard for him.  We stayed up into the wee hours of the morning talking over AIM.  We would share experiences regarding college, families, our dreams for the future.  I was convinced that he would be part of my life...soon.  However, after six months, he informed me that he would be getting back together with his ex-girlfriend, something that I predicted would happen.  I braced myself for this situation, so at least I expected it.  I won't admit that I wasn't hurt, though.  Even though he was back in a relationship, we would still talk for hours on end almost every day.  So, what exactly WAS he getting out of me?  I felt a connection with him that was so strong that I never wanted to let it go.   We still talked on and off; however, I did my best to distance myself from him so that I wouldn't get even more emotionally hurt than I was.   Believe me, that was the hardest thing to do.  Even though I never met him, he had such an impact on my life that I would compare all the guys I dated to him. 

Two years later, his gf broke the news to me that they were engaged.  Again, since two years had passed since we met, I assumed that they would be getting married.  It was my senior year of college and I was gearing up for graduation and entering the real world.  I talked to him from time to time, asking about the wedding, the engagement, and just things about life.  I confessed that I was so hurt that he didn't even tell me that they were engaged.  As his response, he stated that a part of him didn't even want to be engaged.  What did THAT mean?  He still was engaged, wasn't he?

April came and I was a month from graduation.  I remember I was talking to him about how excited, yet sad, I was.  He decided to tell me that he broke off the engagement because she was cheating on him.  That was an absolute shocker to me as I was given no indication that their relationship was rocky.  I saw this as a sign from God, potentially.  Maybe he really WAS meant to be part of my life. 

We talked about meeting during the summer.  I would have willingly flown out there to meet him as I was head over heels for him.  He told me that we would talk about it after he came back from his vacation.

Two weeks passed and I still hadn't heard from him.  My graduation passed and I had YET to hear from him.  Then another year...then another year...

This week is the 3rd year anniversary of last hearing from him.

Even now, I think back to my conversations with him and I remember that spark I had in my heart.  Since him, I've never felt that way about anyone.  I miss him every day.  The little things, especially songs, make me think about him.  I miss him and I hope that someday I'll be able to have some type of closure.  Until I gain that closure, I'll struggle with missing him and thinking of what 'could have been'. 

I miss you. 
qlcrisis qlcrisis
22-25, F
2 Responses Apr 29, 2007

well my situation is a little bit different, but i was going out for like three months after being single for like two years, and the reason why is because every guy that would try to be close to me, i would distance myself before we became something. so anyways, i met this guy and the first day we talked for like two hours and he got my number and whatever, he started to text me and we became really close within a week we were talking 24/7 we went to the same school so then he would make an effort to see me in the halls which was really cute, i would try to distance myself, but he kept making an effort, so i guess thats why i fell for him, like three months passed and in the beginning of the third month people were telling me that he was cheating, but i was so in love with him, because he was the first guy i had let in in so long, that i believed him over my friends and everyone else, because i thought, my boyfriend wouldn't lie to me, but then i saw them together, but still didn't want to believe it and three days later he broke up with me, and i was heart broken. now imagine this, we go to the same school because I'm in high school, and i see him everyday with his new girlfriend thats the girl who he was cheating on me for, and we don't even ever say a single word to each other, and everyday all day and night, all i do is think about him and hes there with his new girlfriend in love with her. ):

i've been through a similar situation myself minus the whole engagement thing...it's hard trying to get over him, but i'm forced to deal with it...<br />
<br />
i had the same feeling that he was the one n all...i guess things weren't meant to be!!<br />
<br />
i wish he would know how much i want him by my side!