I Wish I Didnt

I miss Sean and I know its all my fault that hes gone and its all my fault that hes now with someone else. But I also know we would have never in a millions years worked out. I hate the fact that I know when he misses me and I know how badly he wants to text me and call me and hang out with me but now that we've gone down two different paths we cant even be friends.

I want him to know that I miss him and love him and wish we could be friends but we would be playing battle of the boyfriend/girlfriend. We'd me using our new relationships to hurt the other one when deep down all we want to do is make out and have sex. I would love to message him on here and tell him I love him and miss him just to get it off my chest but he would probably reply to it and it would just hurt me even more or he wouldn't and I would obsess over it, theres no winning.
YoucancallmeJuliet YoucancallmeJuliet
26-30, F
2 Responses Jul 26, 2010

Basically yeah!

uhhh............its as if ur describing my story<br />
<br />
the insanty of it all...how u wish for everyhing to magically work out - i know he loves me and i love him even more but its the selfish parrt of me that wants him to change , but i d never ask him to as that wouldnt be fair ....and its the same for him with me<br />
we r both too stubborn to let things pass (i know its immature) but its just how it gets <br />
<br />
and it hurts the most when u feel its just out of ur hands: that ur both madly in love with each other and he gets u more than anyone in the world that all becomes irrational and hurtful (after all he is the one that knows u inside out, the one u confided with ur secrets) one hurtful word can hurt a million times more than any other friend...yet u find urself still hooked on him and cant seem to let go!