Goodbye, My Love

i haven't seen you in a while. i notice you, across the room, and i smile to myself.
there you are, as you always are, in the middle of a conversation, enthusiastically telling a story and laughing. a sad feeling washes over me, remembering when you used to tell me stories like that.
i walk over to you. maybe i shouldn't, but i can't help myself. i want to feel close to you again, be near you again, if only for a moment. if only just to say hello. you notice me as i come over to you, and you wait for me to approach you.
i say casually, "hey, how are you?" you reply, but i don't even hear the answer. i want to touch you casually, like we used to. i want you to hold me. then, suddenly, you hug me, tightly and closely, like you always used to.
and i hug you back, falling into you as the emotion swells inside of me. you go to pull away, but i hold onto you tighter. you let me. when we do finally pull away, there are tears in my eyes. i don't think i knew just how much i missed you until i hugged you, knowing i can't do this whenever i want. knowing this hug may be the last contact i have you with, until we randomly meet again.
you see the tears, but what can you do? the damage is too great to be repaired. i can see you're sad too, that this brief moment will be just that: a moment, not a constant. i want to say, 'i miss you, come over tonight, hold me, hug me, sleep with me, i'm so lonely with you, my love.' but instead, i say, quietly, "well, it was really nice seeing you.." and you say, "ya, same to you, have a good one"
...and we're supposed to turn and walk away, and continue on in our separate lives, but we linger, looking at one another, trying to prolong our stolen moment. and then suddenly, i turn away, because i know the longer i allow myself to be in your presence, the further i will drop into crushing sadness.
goodbye, my love.
wildf1ower wildf1ower
26-30, F
4 Responses Dec 20, 2011

Wow... I like the way you describe things.. really romantic... you deserve a better person.. i honestly wish you luck.. you will definitely find the right guy.. and he will treat you like a queen :)

I can relate this feeling...

I can definitely relate....

Daisy, I wish you all the best with him, I'm sure he would be back and once again put on the pedestal and love you like he did before. My heart goes out for you, my friend.

thank you very much for the kind words, sunnybelle. i still love him very much.