What Might Have Been

We have been friends for 11 years, we talked online and via phone for years. We have met and enjoyed dinners and easy conversation. We have shared the joys and frustrations of having teenagers and watching them grow into young adults venturing out into the world on their own for the first time.

Your career was demanding and required extensive travel and we did not even live in the same country, yet even if we did not speak for weeks, we always re-connected and never missed a beat. We often joked that we could not wait to retire so we could actually have a relationship and be together.

I am sure you dated other women and I know you knew I dated other men, but it was never a topic of discussion or contention between us. When we spent time together, when we talked it was genuine and real and unconditional. We always made an effort to be there for one another.

When you told me the news, I was devastated and I understood that during this time in your life you did not want to see me, despite being only a 5 hour drive away for the first time in over a decade. I felt helpless that I could do nothing for the one who has been there through thick and thin, for the one who always brought a smile to my face, for the man who has been my one constant in my life.

I did not want to pry, I respected your wishes, you meant the world to me, I loved you. When I heard the news I was devastated, my heart broke and here it is nearly a year later and I can't think of you without crying and wondering what might have been.......now I will have to wait, hope and pray that in my next life I will be blessed to have you in it once again. Till then my dear sweet Marco, I have peace knowing that you are with the angels, they are blessed to have you as I was blessed to know you, thank you for coming into my life, I am a better person for having known you.

Love always and forever
classynsassy classynsassy
46-50, F
1 Response Dec 3, 2012

this is so sad! Made me tearful, sorry for the loss.