A Hemisphere Away, And Not Mine

I miss my best friend. He left for Brazil 5 days ago to go back to his real life after spending nearly a year in Holland. I arrived in Holland 5 months ago and he lived opposite me. We slowly grew closer and eventually we hooked up. It was always 'a casual thing' and I didn't even accept that I had feelings for him until he came back from America saying he was back with his old girlfriend because they would be back in Brazil in one month. It tore my heart out.

On his last night he told me how I had made him remember who he was, that he had fallen in love with me, and how he didn't understand how his life would be without me when he went to Brazil. That even though he had been with quite a lot of girls on his year in Europe (before that he always dated) once he kissed me he didn't want to get with any other girls. We spent the night together, just holding each other, and being with each other and it was perfect. The next evening he left. All I have is my shirt which still smells of him and all I want to do it contact him or talk to him, but I can't because he's probably with his girlfriend. He'll be back in 2 years and by then I know I'll probably be over him, but now it's all I can hang onto, knowing that one day I'll hug him again and feel his arms around me, making me feel safe and protected.

I hate how I hate his girlfriend, and how the situation make me both love and hate him at the same time. I wish I could have frozen the picture at our last night together. I know he doesn't sound perfect, but you can't help who you fall in love with and I just want to hold him again. Not 'one last time' but forever.
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 17, 2013