It started in July. We met on tinder and we started talking non stop about silly things, like what we wanted to do when we got out of school, and where we wanted to live, and what scared us the most. We then met up (in a public place). It was pretty much our first date, except him and his best friend were kind of a package deal. They live together so they do everything together and I'm totally okay with that because they're fun together. Anyways, we went to Main event and then to an Italian ice shop where his best friend interrogated me about different superheroes while he just sat there and smiled adorably. Then we went to his best friends grandmas house to watch a scary movie. His best friend was sitting on the other couch, and me and the guy on the bigger couch. We were both sitting up when he asked if we could lay down because he was getting uncomfortable so he laid down and patted right in front of him for me to lay down. I did, and he very lightly put his hand on my waist and asked if I was okay with that. I said yes, and we watched the movie & cuddled. Him and his friend fell asleep, but it just felt so perfect. The next date, I came in running shorts and a tshirt and my hair all messy and we went to jumpstreet, an indoor trampoline place. Him and his friend were goofing off and showing off while I just watched and laughed. It was. Great. Then we went back to his friends grandmas house where I droppe them off. He walked me outside to my car, put his hands around my waist and said "you know, I'm really starting to like you" and I said "I'm really starting to like you too" and smiled, and he leaned down and very lightly he kissed me and I got in my car and drove home. I was so happy. He made me so happy. And so on, we continued on with the dates, maybe like 5 or 6 more until suddenly he started getting distant. I brought it up and he said he feels uneasy about an 'us' but it's nothing I did and he still really likes me, he just wanted to figure things out before we moved forward. So then a week goes by without talking at all so I ask him what's up and he says he felt uneasy because he didn't have a job, car, etc. so I was the one driving and paying, which I didn't mind at all. He said he wanted to get settled in, move out on his own, get a job and then things would go back to normal. He said his feelings for me were suppressed because of everything he needed to do first before moving forward.

It's been another week, and we haven't talked since that conversation. I miss him, and I don't know why. I've only known him for a little over a month. There was never a dull moment with him. I could be myself around him. And he is the ONLY guy that I've actually thought that we would last a long time. I have never felt this way before and I hate it because I don't think he feels the same way. I don't know if he was being serious about the reason he didn't want to move forward just yet, or if he just wanted to let me down easy. All I do know is that I miss him like crazy, and it's driving me insane.
sarahbearrr51 sarahbearrr51
18-21, F
Sep 2, 2014