Missing What I Know

I just recently got back from Christmas break with my family, which is certainly our holiday. Food, laughing, poker, drinks. I have 2 brothers and a sister, and when all of us are together, things are probably the most positive I could ever hope for. I am in medical school about 8 hours from home. Not very long, but sometimes the stress gets to me and I miss home. I am not under any delusion, as I know my siblings and I are not 7 anymore. The childhood life was great, but we moved on. Still, it is always just so hard to start back. Like looking at a desert when you are stepping out of an oasis. You keep asking yourself "why am I so far away?" and "why can't I have a little more time?" I just love spending time with my family so much and I always have a hard time leaving it. I also worry a lot as no place I have found so far has felt like any type of "home." I've lived on my own in 5 different places, always counting down to the next batch of time off. I know it probably never will feel quite like home, and I know I will probably always count the weeks until I get to see my family again (10 as of today). Don't mean to wallow, just wanted to talk this out somewhere. Thanks for starting this site and giving people like me a place to think and connect with others in my situation.

futuredoc24 futuredoc24
1 Response Jan 10, 2010

I am 1000 miles from home myself. With my work and school schedule, and those of my wife and 8 yr old son I am lucky to get home twice per year. I have a nephew who is walking and talking and I have yet to see him. My son barely even knows my side of the family. I too have a hard time calling this big, busy, polluted gulf coast city home and seriously doubt that I will ever be able to. I have a plan to get home by summer 2012, hopefully I can convince my wife to go by then.