I'm Watching My Life Go By

All the I could haves... or should haves...

I'm paralyzed by fear of the unknown.

I miss soooo many social events because I'm too anxious to leave my house.  Usually because I'm feeling fat that day.

I burn myself out so I can't compete.

I focus on the negatives.

I work in a job I hate.

And all this adds up to me just sitting, frozen in life...

wantingnothing wantingnothing
5 Responses Aug 13, 2008

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

advise...get up...go out and sweat..work... physical labor is a cure for so much...a little to start with then more and more till you start feeling physically strained and tired...then those endorphins will kick in and..presto

It's really hard when motivation sneaks off to a bar somewhere and leaves you hanging. That has been my life for the last 5 years. I have several health issues that keep me feeling fatigued, and then, of course, I have my grandkids that I provide care for 5 or more days a week. When I'm actually home alone, all I want to do is read and listen to music. I need to clean my apartment, but when I look at it, I think, well, before I do this, I have to do that, which is a heavy job and poof! Motivation left me, and didn't leave a forwarding address. The only way I can get something accomplished is to make rules for myself, like if I want something to eat, I have to load the dishwasher and start the cycle. If I want to watch tv, I have to vacuum first. Or set a timer for 15 minutes, and just tackle clutter for 15 minutes. As far as your job goes, please start looking for a new one. I experienced what a ill-fitting job could do to you and i really don't wish that kind of turmoil on anyone. (I found myself thinking idly that if I killed myself, I wouldn't have to go to work the next day.) When I realized what horrible thoughts I was having, I quit my job. It was a risky move. I didn't have another job lined up yet, but I found one quickly. I had two kids to feed, and it's surprising how much that fact will fuel the job hunt! Hope things work out for you.

not so much anymore.... and yes, i take meds for that.

is there anything that you like to do?