I Definitely Do

I miss love. I'm actually only 19 but last year I came out of a 2 year relationship which seemed like the real thing. I was genuinely in love this girl. Personally, I am extremely shy and insecure about my body yet this girl took away these feelings. She made me feel normal. I don't blame her for eventually splitting up with me, seen as due to my complete insecurities I will admit i was a little protective. Something I think about and regret every single day. I don't know if i can ever have the confidence with another girl that I had with this one. For me, the side of the relationship i miss the most is having somebody to hold, to share things with you wouldn't share with other people. A question i want to throw out there is; Is it a good thing that we are still friends? I am at university now and therefore in a different part of the country to her so i can go weeks without seeing her, just texting now and then and i think.. Yeah, this is good.. I'm past it we are friends and i can move on. Then when i return home for a break like the recent Christmas break and i see her again i get the same feelings i had when we were together and before that.. Absolute love, a longing to be with her. I tend to get all shy and act strange making the whole situation wierd. The thing is, when i think about not seeing her again my heart aches so badly its not worth the pain. So when i say i miss love, i guess what i really mean is i miss being loved. Because it is quite clear that i am still madly in love with her. I just keep wishing one day the feelings will be returned once more. I have learnt from the mistakes of our relationship. It was actually my first ever relationship so i know i can be better. Its just the overwhelming feeling that maybe i wont find someone else to love me the way i am.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 14, 2013

I can understand your feeling of loving someone so much, but not being loved by that person back..at least not anymore. It's very difficult, but I don't have to tell you that. The only advice I can give to you is that you need to accept any feelings you have. It's a process you have to go through and your heart will continue to bring up a lot of emotions. Just let them flow through you. Time will be your friend in this. Just keep looking forward, one day you will find someone who loves you just as much as you still love her.