I Just Miss Her..

Ive had this best friend for just one year though, but although it has only been a year i feeel very close to her, any was the storie starts when i figure out she likes the dude in wich i also like, one day i go to my mayh classs and eeryones talking about abraham(thts his name) liking me and gunna ask me out, te first thing i think is to goo to my best friend bee, i tell her at lunch and she says its ok to date him, but i still felt kinda uncomfortable wth the whole thing.. Weve been dating for a few days and on thanksgiving day she emails me telling her that she lied about it being okay an that shes been crying for everyday, and we go back and forth onyspace about how she and i felt, and after all of it, i honestly felt completely torn in two... So devistated i was shaking.. But i held in the tears for my family memebers. All i rememer her saying that we are still friends but not close, and i should feel like shiitt... Those words, still scar me. I look at her status and she says "ive hurted enough now its your turn " They day after i went to school still hanging out with her, but i didnt say a word, i was so scared.! But she did say things to me she asked me if im sad, i kept nodding my head no, wit my other friendss i try to act as cheerful as i can but she just knows im sad.. Thus goes on for months but we always talk in myspace and one day i ask her for advice on how to deaal. With it, and poor my heart out and try to make her not think its her, cause i dont want to make her hurt again but she eventually figures out and told me she could see the hesitant in my eyes and if i need time its ok , i agree but it deosnt make anything better, i tried and tried but every time i t near herr the words she said play over and over in myhead, my hands sweat, my legs shake and my heart drops. I finally got myself together but its to late, she already had a newngroup, a new bestfriend and shes proud to she the other girl is her best friend.. I just wanted
to go cry again... Allher statuses on myspace talk about her bestfriend.! It just hurt. Bad. But we still talk on myspace we converse about our friends and she told me "well, without you being happy i really didnt fit in, then i met paola and she made me feel alive again so i had no problem leaving to be with her" and with thise words my healing heatt shatters into pieces. I felt replaced bad then i had nothing about that subject to say to her.. I just wanted to heal as fast as i could and prove to her that i can be that bestfriend i was befor, another month went bye, i felt happy with my new group but ide look at the oter side of the school cafeteria and shes with paola her new bestfriend and abraham, laughing up a storm it still would bother me so i decided to tell herr how hard im trying and just broke down then she told i would always be her besyfriend.. My heart warmed up again and weve been. Doing good since but we arent as good as we used to be and she still likes to go her seperate ways with paola and AB i try to ignor it cause i never want to loose her again.. Its was on of the worst pains. I expirienced
Yanechula1 Yanechula1
13-15, F
Jul 21, 2010