I Regret..

I really feel bad what about what happened between me and my best friend. We met in kindergarten when I lived in Atlanta, GA. We instantly clicked, and was pretty much inseparable from each other. The other kids complained that we would never play with them, but we always had the best times together. We eat together, had our naps together, chased boys together. (haha). However, I had to move to Charlotte, NC at the end of third grade. But amazingly, we stayed really close throughout the whole move, well into high school. We then ended up at the same college together, but she joined a sorority while I did not. At that point, we hardly talked. She was into partying while I was trying to actually come out of my shell. When I started dating someone, she ignored him whenever she saw him. She never called, and rarely called me back when I called her. I was not expecting us to hang out all the time, but a phone call here and there would have been nice. I kept reaching out to her because I knew she was having a hard time adjusting to the college lifestyle. But she kept me away, and I finally decided to forget it, going as far to as deleting her off my friends list on FB. I did not do it out of anger, or revenge. I simply saw no point in allowing myself to be friends with someone who did not want to be my friend. I was not expecting much, just some connection. I knew nothing about her, as little as we talked. I thought after 12 years of friendship both of us deserved something better. I assume she would not even notice, and I was right. It took my mom messaging her happy graduation for her to finally explain what was going on in her life. Apparently, she had decided to contact me after something had happened, but finally noticed that I had deleted her from FB and did not contact me at all. That was last summer, and I messaged her explaining exactly why I did what I did, but I was very sorry I was not there to help her when she needed me. It has been a year since I messaged her. Basically, I said that I understand that she does not want a very involved friendship, but I am always here to talk. You are always welcome to call me. (yes I included my number just in case). I have decided to let her make the first move, even though it has been a year. I miss her terribly. She was the best-kind, caring, compassionate, outgoing, fun, and we clicked so well. Whatever is going on in her life, I do hope she is doing well. And I hope someday we can be friends again.