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I Miss My Best Friend

I have never felt closer to anyone as I did my best friend. It's sad to think of what happened. Many times I can't because I begin to cry, and that is one thing I do not like to do often. We were attached at the hip. We liked all the same things. We understood each other in ways that many people could not. We were always there for each other through thick and through thin. He made me happier than anyone has ever made me. I thought I was doing the right thing, and maybe at the time it seemed like it. Right now I realized that I was wrong, it was the worst thing that I could do actually. I miss my best friend so much.

It seems like it was just yesterday that we were hanging out just the two of us.He was always making me laugh and smile. It turns out that after knowing each other for quite sometime I ended up falling in love with him. I remember thinking that it was the worst thing that could ever happen. There was no way that he could have ever loved me back. I tried everything I could to push my feelings aside so it would not affect our friendship but alas it did not work. The harder I tried the more I fell in love with him, until I just couldn't fight it any longer. Everyday that I was with him I wonderedhow he felt about me.

One day he asked me what he should do. He said that there was this girl that was special. He said that he was in love with her and that he wasn't sure if she loved him back. I was heartbroken because I got my answer. I thought that he did not love me back, so I let him go.

A few days after that he said that he was moving and he told me that if I loved him he would stay with me. I did not want to hold him back so I told him that he should leave. I asked him what happened with the girl and he said that I broke his heart when I told him that I didn't love him. I tried explaining that I was in love with him, but that I thought he was in love with someone else, but he refused to listen to me. It sucks because he hates me now and I have tried to contact him, but I don't know how. He didn't tell me where he went, and he changed his number.

Because of a complete misunderstanding, or the fact that I never had the guts to tell him the truth I lost my best friend and ultimately the love of my life. I miss him so much. If I could do it over again I would in a heartbeat.
dreamer234 dreamer234 26-30, F Sep 7, 2011

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