Lost 2 Best Friends Over A Period Of 6/7years.. Still Hurts No Less

Had my first real proper best friend when i was 12-13, we done everything together.. she knew everything about me and vice versa:) We'd been best friends for a few years then she started hanging round with the wrong crowd when we were 14.. things changed, she changed and i slipped into depression.. we literally spent every day together, so going from having her to having noone(as i pushed my friends away) was horrible. I dropped out of school, sat in the house every single day for about a year.

I battled depression but my family didnt believe me.. so i just contuined to try to work through it, those period of years from 14-16 were the worst complete years of my life to date. I had no close friends.. no confidence, just stayed in the house all the time.

Then I started hanging out with a girl who id met funny enough though my last best friends birthday(we went trail riding) and we were friends those years.. until when i was about 15, we got really close and became best friends. We done everything together!! holidays, i stayed at hers every 2nd night..she stayed at mine, we spent weekends and weeknights doing different stuff. I told her EVERYTHING and vice versa. I actually don't love anyone more than i love her. Now im almost 18 and shes found a new best friend.. shes pushing me away slowly and I feel like me telling me how much i miss her and saying that shes pushing me away is giving her a better excuse to ditch me altogether.

When i ask her to hang out, she is busy with the other girl, when she invites me out its along with the other girl. It used to be use too.. it was never one without the other. Now she spends EVERY day with that girl and is basically like a stranger. Going from a girl who we used to cry together talking about what we'd do if we didnt have eachother... to someone who I feel dosent care.

When i cried last time to her.. she told me i was pushing her away, that im being silly and even though she didnt wanna lose me its just 'so much effort' to do stuff with me. We go to different schools now and live in different towns & both work..
her current 'new' best friend, they work together and live same street :/

I can feel myself falling into depression like I did when i was 13.. and Im scared guys.. :(
I don't want this to happen..ive dropped out of high school(again) and don't start college till sept..

Does ANYONE know what i should do?? Do I pour my heart out to her and basically make a last plea that she dosent forget about me.. or do i do the same as shes doing to me and not talk to her first, not text her.. just move on??

Once bitten, twice shy etc?? hurts like a *****
Nevaeh2013 Nevaeh2013
18-21, F
1 Response May 23, 2012

Just like you, I've lost the 2 people who I thought were my "best friends" since elementary school. The one was always Treating me bad, made me have bad self esteem, etc. but she was like that with everyone. We ended up going to the same college supposed to room together and she randomly texted me out of no where telling me how much he hated me and a bunch of ther stuff. So I was down to 1 friend. But college changed her. All she does now is party and drink, smoke, but that's normal for college people whatever. But her whole attitude has changed. She acts weird around me, if I try to talk about how lonely or sad I feel she says shut up its not that bad and now she has a girlfriend who gets mad at her if she talks to me. So now she pushes me away and ignores me because of that girl.. Now I have no real friends to hangout with or talk to