Almost Two Years

April 12, 2011 will make two years since my best friend of nine years passed on to another place. Life has been extra difficult for me since. The hardest part is at the time of his passing we weren't speaking because of someone else's lies. It tore us apart. I don't know how that person can live with himself. Whenever I see him, I look at him with so much cynicism and blame. I can take part of the fault versus arguing, I should have just taken time to calm down. Christopher aka "Eli", I miss you...

Christopher was like the male version of me. I know that sounds weird, but our minds worked identically. He knew what I was thinking before I opened my mouth. I was very blessed to have him in my life. I know he's still with me, but it still rips me apart... He was only 29. And was taken by a heart attack.

What started the fight? Well when he came down to Arkansas, before I moved back up to Michigan, he stayed with us for two weeks. I feel some ease knowing he got to come back to Arkansas at least once before he left. The thing with Chris, is he was gay. A lot of my friends are. Well my father in laws brother made comments to him like "gay *** *****" and well I didn't hear him say it cause I was inside. Well the person who made the comments tried to say I told him to do so, and a bunch of other ****. I question why Chris would've even believed it, I think it was probably how mad I got at him for even thinking I would say something like that.

I had moved back to Michigan 12 days before he passed, sadly we never got to settle things. I did however make it to his memorial service. His family holds a close place in my heart... but I don't think there is anyone out there who will ever be able to relate so closely to me and understand me.

We had so much in common, we were both sexually abused. We both had a very crazy sense of humor.... One thing I will never forget is when he called Family Fare and asked if they sold maxi pads. They said yes. He said well do you sell maxi pads with wings. They said yeah. He goes well you better go catch em cause there flying away. Then his belching over the intercom at Walmart.... Yeah I'm a tomboy... lol I miss those times as immature as it sounds.
enigmaninja7 enigmaninja7
26-30, F
Jan 7, 2013