Getting Easier?

It's been a month and a half now since my baby left. And I have found that it is getting easier to distract myself. It's getting easier to be more positive. I have 3 children to care for, so the only time I really still get down is at night, when they are asleep & I'm alone. I miss him like crazy then. But I keep up the positivity & tell myself that it isn't forever. Someday, he'll be back home with me. I try to only think good thoughts, laying in bed alone. It helps. Bad days, it is definitely harder. But there seem to be less of those recently, since I've taken on a more optimistic attitude. I look forward to our visits & his letters, but I try not to dwell on him not being here. So for now, I'm doing better. And I thank God for that. In the beginning, I wasn't sure what I would do to make it without him. But now, I'm learning that I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. It is harder to be positive than to give in to the negativity, but it is so worth it. I get to see my love tomorrow & I'm so excited. It's gotten back to where I get butterflies in my stomach when I see him & that's a wonderful feeling. It's been so long.
Last week, he asked me to marry him in there. We have planned on getting married for a while now, but never talked about doing it in there until now. He says if he has to go to prison, we need to be married to get visits. I'm not thrilled at the thought of not being able to kissed him our put our rings on each other, but the most important part is really the vows we take before God & He is everywhere, including the county jail.
I want to be his wife, more than anything. I have already made that commitment in my heart & soul. So the location shouldn't really matter that much, right?
hiswifey16 hiswifey16
26-30, F
1 Response Jan 7, 2013

Yo go girl keep busy and next thing u know he will be out it seem like our lifestyle is the 3 kids and only time is at night I hope the visit go good keep me posted time will go by fast I only have 40 days left stay positive n keep your head u r n my prayers

Thank you so much for your prayers & interest in our story! The visit was ok... We've had better. It was one of those more emotional ones, on my part, and I cried again. I thought I was past that, but before I knew it, I was bawling like a baby. Well, I took our baby girl this time, and it was the first time he's seen her in a month and a half. So I think that's what did it for me. Seeing her bang on the glass, wanting him to hold her & he couldn't. I know it broke his heart, too. This is really rough stuff for a woman. But I'm doing ok now. He wants me to get the marriage certificate as soon as I can afford it. I'm ready. I love that man more than life itself.

your story brought tears to my eyes cause it is so much like mine and so many more on here.. I have a question.. im only asking cause me and my guy wants to get married.. not to have visits but because we truly love each other but I thought that when they are already in jail you cant get married??? please tell me if there is a loop hole

I know how you feel I love my babes more than life itself what make me stay strong when my babes he wants me more than his freedom it make me cry just thinking about it