Boyfriend In Jail What To Do?

hello everyone, my name is erika, im 18, and well i just joined this today cause i heard from a friend it helps you alot talking to other people that are going through the same thing. my boyfriend of two years, have been in jail for about 8 or 9 months, and he got sentenced for 7 years or 13 years. and its not even fair, cause his lame ***** attorney, ****** up everything for him and just left him there. he told me it went down to 7 years cause he got 50 percent of i dont know what. but i dont know what to do. other people tell me to leave him cause its a long time. and through that time i could find a nice guy, but i cant, i met a guy a really nice guy, he actually use to talk to my bf but when im with him i go back to how i use to feel when i was bearly knowing my bf, but then i dont want to leave my bf cause he knows everything all my secrets, and we been through bad and good time, and i dont wanna throw two years away just like that, i love him. but i dont know what to do, im going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!, right now im just looking for my future, looking for a job, so i could get my own life and move out of my parents house, so when he comes out, he has someone to rely on. but at the same time he told his friends, to watch for me, hes checking on me to dont **** up on him.  people help!!!
AkikocollilyluJ AkikocollilyluJ
18-21, F
6 Responses Jul 28, 2010

Right now i am in the same boat me and my childhood sweetheart got back together it hurt and then he went to jail i miss him so much amd love him i just want him to know that i will be here for him but i just know what to do cause i am crush i just keep reading his over wish i could call him and talk to him

Hi hun, I'm in the same boat, I've been with my partner for 6yrs and we have two children together and he got sentanced to ten years just over a year ago when I was pregnant with our second child. He has been gone for 16months now and it hasn't got any easier for me. At first I blocked it out but gosh did I pay for that a few months into him being gone I had a breakdown and a year latert I'm only just recovering with the help of a psyc and medication. Its not easy being away from the one you love, most days I wonder how the hell am I going to get through the next 4years but all I know is that I have too cause the way I see it is everything was perfect before this happened, I couldn't of asked for a better partner I truely believe God destined for us to be together and I fully intend to fulfil my destiny. It was never going to be easy but so£e how some way I manage to keep living. The only way I can suggest to help you through this time is to stress the importance of visits and phone calls, that's all that gets me through. I write dailey so he also has something to look forward to eachday, I sometimes forget how hard it is for him where I'm so wrapped up in my own suffering. People can and do get through these kind of situations and if its meant to be so will you hun, stay strong and if you need to talk feel free to message me hun x

I know how you feel my boyfriend got locked up 18 hes now 22. He was senteced 4 yrs 8months. Its really hard though not being able to have him here with me. So many people kept telling me to leave him hes jail move on with your life, but that was easy for them to say because I bet if they were in our situation they would think differently. I followed my heart and stayed strong/positive not only for me but him as well. He also has his family and friends looking out for me. Its hard in the beginning as well as it is much harder now but theres always ways to get by your day and distract yourself in. If your willing to stand by your man for them 7-13yrs go for it let him know how much you love him and support him because being in jail surround by different men with different personalites 24/7 gets to them and they want some one who they can go to for support.

you have the right idea , just keep living your life & setting up something for you & him when he gets out :) if you love him its worth it , its really hard i completley understand what your going through my boyfriend is still waiting to go to court & hes getting charged with anything between 5-10 years. stay happy i hope the best for you :) it really does help talking to other people about your situation

thanx for the support i really appriciate it im going to add yu in my circle so we can keep in touch.!

Hello Erika, being someone who has experience their boyfriend/fiance getting lock up. I can totally understand where you are coming from. My fiance has been locked up for 1 year now, my first time seeing him was last week in a whole year. The place he is locked up at is a strict facility. So 1 phone call a week and no visit. Is what i have to deal with. Since you know he will be serving 7 years i would be there support him. I am not going to tell you to go out and look for someone else, but because of his choices you shouldn't have to be locked up with him. I understand everyone makes mistakes but a 7year mistake is a bad one (you know what i mean) its only so much he is going to hear that you are doing from his friends. Your business is not everyone business. They way i coped with it was hanging out with my girlfriends at first, spending time with family, but i was lonely i needed someone to be there like he was before he got locked up. That feeling or need is going to have to be ignored or dealt with.. you choose. Your young i am young i choose to support my man and be there for whatever he wants but on the same note, i didnt do the crime so why should i do the time. :) I do want to add, if you do choose to "talk" to other guys, always remember your boyfriend and dont put him second. <br />
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***do what makes you happy. <br />
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