I Miss My Boyfriend

My boyfriend is in jail, he has been in since March and he will get out next March, so he is doing a year. It is driving me crazy. I am the kind of girl who does everything with her boyfriend. He is literally my best friend and I don't have much fun without him. It's not that he's alienated me from my friends if that's what you're thinking... I just don't have that many friends, and I don't want them, it just doesn't work out most of the time for many different reasons. I tried doing things that are more self-oriented... dancing, volunteering, exercise, journaling, working more hours, trying to hang out with the few friends I do have... but nothing compares to having my boo. I want to tell my boyfriend about my day, I want to watch TV with him and do all the stupid and simple things we're used to doing. It hurts. The worst part is that it is so expensive to pay for someone in jail... I mean the commisary is so expensive, and the phone calls are too. His friends haven't been much help, even though they all promised they would help when he first got locked up. I have done everything for him. His mom put some money on his books, and what makes me even more sad is that he still hasn't called me since she put the money there. At first, he called me every day, multiple times a day... then he ran out of money totally, and so his mom put money on his books and he called me a couple times, but hasn't called me since the last day I visited him, which was on Friday. Monday one of his friends visited him and I still haven't heard from him and I didn't get my visit either. It stresses me out... I wonder if his friend went in there talking **** about me... it's just that... I always imagine the worst case scenario... I don't know. I wonder if he doesn't want to talk to me... I know it's only been a few days, but it drives me crazy - my boyfriend is my whole world and I want to keep it that way. I'm so flipping sad I want to scream. I know I have no choice but to make it until next March but sometimes it feels like I can't. I know other women have men who are doing 15+ years and that they would trade places with me in a heartbeat but I am still miserable. I just want my man back, and I want my life back to how it was. I was so happy...
EmptyLeila EmptyLeila
2 Responses Aug 3, 2010

Hi my name is Kayla and im in disagree with latinacagirl, sorry.. Anyway how long have you been with him..? Any kids.. Realationships are so complicated and no one is perfect everone makes mistakes and some just get caught. But what were his charges.. My man has been in jail/prison 23 days ive been with him 5 1/12 years and your story scares me.. I do agree that you should try not to be so worried about the phone calls maybe he dont want you to have to spend a whole lot of money ya know!! But as far as other woman? You know your man i hope, and hopefully well enough to trust him while he is in prison its not that easy to write woman or get visits.. My man is serving 1 1/2 for intimidation and i miss him too! That is what this site is for to relate. Message me, or if you want send me an invite. Would like to keep in touch.

First off let me say that what I am going to write is not meant to be offensive but just a little insight- You may already know that you are really dependent on your boyfriend and it is never good to be so dependent on one person. You need to have different people in your life to see different perspectives and to continue to be ob<x>jective. If your boyfriend is your world, you will get let down because that person is only human. You sound like you obsess about him and when he calls and doesn't- well, you know he is not out running around on you he is in JAIL- Also, think about why he is in jail- he is not working and did something wrong to land in jail for a year. I know I know, he didn't do anything, well if that is the case he should sue because he is in jail for not doing anything, right? Is he going to continue breaking the law? because then you will be obsessing about him again if he goes back to jail/prison- you need to continue to develop yourself, it's okay to miss someone but obsessing is unhealthy- of course he wants to talk to you, he needs you to put money on his books! You also need to get some self confidence, if you are confident in yourself and the relationship you would stop obsessing also men in jail are known to have several women writing them because they wants multiple visitors and money on their books, good luck