I Miss My Baby...

My boyfriend was arrested just last night in front of my eyes. It was horrific to watch him getting hauled off, screaming "I love you baby" as he was pushed out the house by police.
He's 17, and I'm 16 but we were both living in his parents house. We were about to get an apartment together with the help of his parents of course. I had just shown up at his house(after an argument we had), but his parents weren't home yet. He told me once I got there that his parents were kicking him out, and I noticed all the boxes with his stuff just thrown in there. I told him we could sleep on my mothers living room floor for a few weeks until we could figure something out. He told me his mother had kicked down his door when they said they were kicking him out and I noticed his door was laying in half on the ground outside his hallway. I though to myself "No way, his parents wouldn't do that to him." He had a makeshift door made of 8 blankets covering where his door used to be. And right then his parents came home. He walked down stairs to talk to them and they threw a brand new pair of headphones at him and told him to listen to his music with those because it was too loud. He got frustrated but didn't say anything to them. He came back upstairs and we started listening to music and packing. His mother came upstairs and stood outside the makeshift door and asked him why he wasn't using the new headphones they got him, he told her it was because I was there with him and it would be rude to listen with headphones. She said it was too loud and they got into an argument about how the reason they could hear it is because she kicked his door down. She told him he was worthless and to get out of her house by the next day. He has always been treated like this by his parents, being told he was worthless and a piece of ****. He's always had a problem with self mutilation, and once he was told he was worthless, he started to harm himself. I was comforting him, and in the middle of making him stop when he picked up the house phone. His parents were on the line talking to police. He listened in on the call until he realized they were outside the door asking him to come out and talk to them. I went out with him and they started asking both of us questions. They searched his room and found 3 ounces of his parents Marijuana and both his prescribed medication and theirs in baggies. I realized his parents set him up. He tried to run, but they forced him in handcuffs, threatening to taze him, taze gun already aimed at his chest. He cried, knowing he wouldn't get out for years. His said his life was over. The police escorted me downstairs and his parents were just standing there, saying nothing. They told me to call for my mother to pick me up, and I told them "Gladly, I don't want to be here." His father said he didn't want me here anyway so I told them to **** off. They told me to get the **** out of their house, and they never wanted to see me again. I watched as my baby got dragged out of the house asking to see his house one more time before he went, but they threatened to taze him again. The last thing he said to me was "I love you baby" and they put him in the police cruiser. The cops told me I was never allowed on their property again or I would get a criminal trespassing charge. They also told me that my boyfriend had begged them not to take me as well, that everything was his because it would have been my first offense. He had been arrested prior to last night, twice for felonies so this is his third strike. They let me go with my mother, but it doesn't change things. I'm still going to be as depressed and lonely as I would be if I were in there too. He saw the judge this morning, they gave him two charges for possession of a dangerous drug, possession of a controlled substance and possession of marijuana. He should have the possession of a dangerous drug charges dropped soon since the medications were prescribed, but with the POM, he could be in there for 90 days to 5 years :[
He was already on probation for the felonies he had, so that's going to be another charge against him for violation of probation.
I'm hoping maybe any of you have some encouragement or tips on how to stay strong for him? He's my everything, and I've been crying ever since it happened. I've lost interest in simple things like tv and just talking with people. I've been sitting here starring off into space just thinking about how we used to kiss, and lay in bed talking, and cuddling. We were the only friends we had, and we don't have parents support on anything. Now we're both alone, and all I want is for him to hold me and tell me everything's alright. But he's in county and I'm sitting here with no support. He's only allowed to write, and he can only have two visits a week. I'm worried his parents will take up every visit just so I can't see him. And since I'm a minor and I'm not related to him, I can't have his only Contact visit he's allowed once a week. I'm just so crushed and I don't know how to handle this situation. Do you have any advice?
lostnnlonely lostnnlonely
18-21, F
7 Responses Aug 3, 2010

Im 18 years old <br />
im in your shoes as well, it hurts so much.<br />
My boyfriend was on probation and he was set up..he was told 90 days to 5 years, they gave him 5 months..<br />
I write poetry to get my feelings out, i dont have any girl friends anymore cause I really dont like girls these days, and they cant relate to me, they are always trying to get me to go out and party and drink and meet guys, and im not trying to do that..im trying to stay loyal to my man. If you'd like i can show you my poems..sometimes they make me feel better.<br />
My advice to you would be to keep your head up and dont listen to anyone or anything but your heart, it knows what you want...i know it might sound stupid or just "the thing people might say" but i mean it. Your heart leads you in the right direction, always be there for yourself, if your not, how would you expect anyone else to be. The whole situation is messed up, same with my man. He didnt get sentenced for as long as yours but being without him sucks so much, I've decided to wait when he gets out we will start our lives together again...until then im staying loyal and focusing on myself and working, saving money for us to spend when he comes home.<br />
we were also planning on getting an apartment or house but he got arrested now he's telling me to work and save money for a house. i've been waiting since april 24th or so and he comes home next month finally, ITS BEEN SO HARD ON ME, i cried almost every night, but eventually it might turn out to be better for him. i miss him and love him so muchhh! So waiting is not that hard, the being without him the whole time is the hardest part.<br />
How you feel will determine everything :)<br />
good luck, and remember, your not alone, some people have it worse.

im new to this. i'm 16 and over the weekend my boyfriend got caught up with some guys and robbed some people. 3 places infact. i live in virginia and he lives in mississippi, ill be moving to florida in some days tho. well one of the guys got 10 years and the other 20. well the stories are all messed up. when the cops pulled my boyfriend managed to get away and run to a friends house. but one guy decided to tell on my boyfriend so now he's caght in it. it's a whole big mess. but he's go's to court monday. he told me he migh could face 10-15 years. ive been tellling every contact in my phone, every friend on facebook my family, to pray for him. he's only 15, his birthday is next saturday and he was supposed to come to florida for that weekend but we have to wait till court to see if we still need to but the ticket. me and him have been in this long distance relationship for alomst 8 months now. when we see each other it ranger from 1 week-to about 3. so we get a good amount of time together. i dont know how i coulod visit him as often as i wanted. i really dont know what to do. all i can do is pray and hope god is on my side. i dont know if i should date anyone else if this happens? i dnt want to stay faithful to him the whole time and then when he get outs, f*** me over. like, i dont want to waist my life. but i always told him i wouldnt ever leave him. everf! im his first love. and i know if i were in the situation i would want him to be there for me.

my baby got locked up on the 16th. he is now in montgomery county jail for lying to the cops bout his name and is getting transfered to bucks county jail cause he had a warrant out for him. i dont know wht to do without him. i might be gettin charged to cause i had stuff on me and i lied for him. as he was walking away he kept saying sorry and screaming i love you from the car. idk how to get by without him. all i do is things tht remind me of him like watch the tv shows we would watch or listen to his cds... my fam doesnt help at all they jus make things worse and get me close to self mutilation which i used to do but have not for 5 months. his family is comforting but even though im 18 my parents only let me stay there on the weekends. i know im 18 n i can do wht i want but if i dont listen the kick me out and wont pay for college and take my car so im stuck and so lonely and helpless with out him.

sounds like a lonely road ahead of you. If hes just looking at 90 days to 5 years max then he may only get 2yrs being worse. I just signed up to this site tonight and im in your lonley shoes too! Im 20 years old and ive been with him since i was 15 and egaged to him when i was 19. I love him with everything and he is my best friend. And now he is gone, i come home to an empty house and pictures of him all over my walls his clothes in my closet and his car in my driveway even though hes not gonna be home. He was sentenced July 19 to 3yrs for Intimidation.. I work and try to stay busy. I hate being alone so i try to stay on the phone or around friends. My family and i dont have a good realationship either but his family is very comforting. I do go to church and thats very encouraging. My best advice is to stay busy and write lots of letters and talk about it when it bothers you... stay stong because your not the only one.. =)

im 17 and im going through almost exactly the same **** . the only diffrence is both our parents are supportive . its the hardest thing in the world to go through , but its good to know im not the only one . we both need to stay strong for them. while hes in prison just get your life together and itll get easier day by day. hope this helped :)

Well, we don't have anything constructive going on anymore, now that he's in prison. We were both getting jobs, getting an apartment together, but all of that has fallen apart now. He does have interest in taking care of me, he got me away from my parents who have treated me worse than his parents treat him.

It is obvious the both of you don't have anything constructive happening. Too bad the parents did not have the creativity or strength to guide their son into something productive. Two priors? It is time to put the emotions into a box and work on doing something to make yourself less dependent on people who don't have any interest in taking care of you. You take care of yourself. Find some kind of work, get a social worker, whatever. You are not a pet and your boyfriend needs to find in himself the courage to leave the past behind and make something of the opportunity he has in front of him. It sounds crazy but he is now in a position where the county or state could help him get his G.E.D. or some kind of assisted living. I think both he and you need to get into a "halfway house" or some other structured living. Nothing is free and something always costs you. Too bad you have to grow up faster than you thought. Crying and moping feeds on itself. You are better than that and will realize it in time. Baby steps grow into larger grown up steps. May God bless you and His Spirit guide you. Tough is rough but it the way out of your hole.