I Miss My Husband So Much. . How To Deal.
Well I'm not sure how else to say this.. I miss him so damn much it just hurts.
I started writing this because today is our five year anniversary. . . and it's just making all of this so much worse. . We have two children together and when he went to jail our daughter was 4 and one was 9 months old... It hurts so damn much. He missed my daughters first birthday. He missed her first steps.. Because of him being gone i'm living in my friends basement. . . I can't talk to any of my friends because they all don't like what he did to go to jail and I honestly could care less what they think. This is MY family we are talking about. I miss everything about him. How do people do this. . and my kids.. god my daughter was so young. He is missing everything. He is missing our anniversary today. he will miss my birthday next month as well as his own.
How do you cope with missing your other half. your soul mate. How do you do this!!! it's been 4 months and I still hurt. Maybe today more then others since it's our anniversary.. but every minute I keep thinking.. If jason was out what would we be doing? I bet he would be doing something special. , etc, etc.
I feel like I can't talk to anyone..... my brick wall i built is coming down around me as I know it. I can't be alone without my kids without just crying for him. I stay strong in front of them for them.. but when they are not around i'm a wreck.
I love you jason baby